Last night I was waterboarded with crude AI images of some combination of Patrick Mahomes, Andy Reid and/or Travis Kelce cuddling up with the referees. Apparently, the NFL is rigged.
The Kansas City Chiefs beat the Houston Texans 23-14, advancing to another AFC Championship Game with some eye-rolling calls randomly gifting the Chiefs chunks of yards down the field.
“Oh, come on! I mean, he’s a runner. I could not disagree with that one more. He barely gets hit.” – Troy Aikman
“The two Houston players hit each other. That should not have been a foul.” – Russell Yurk
“They’ve gotta address it in the offseason…” – Aikman 🏈🎙️🦓 #NFL https://t.co/vXj2v7VTKg pic.twitter.com/QioQ5IQwhg
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) January 18, 2025
On 1st and 10 on their own 35 with about 2 minutes left in the 3rd quarter, Patrick Mahomes fumbled the snap and in the chaos, decided to just run it himself—but he doesn’t try to gain any yards.
It looks like he’s waiting for blockers in front of him but once the blockers arrive, he still doesn’t really run forward. Instead, Mahomes waits for defenders to lunge at him so he can quickly slide, forcing the refs into an impossible position.
And then like, 15 real life minutes later, Patrick Mahomes is pushed out of bounds but aware of the referee next the action, Mahomes gives himself whiplash exaggerating the contact for an unnecessary roughness call.
You never want calls to be so egregious that even the broadcasters become disgusted with what they’re watching.
Troy Aikman wanted to call that Chiefs game utter woke nonsense so badly.
It’s also not great when fans believe your sporting league is rigged.
This is what happens when you ban TikTok. Now more people are focused on the television, watching Patrick Mahomes play chicken in oncoming traffic and casually sashaying off the scene of a blazing 4-car pile-up he created.
Sure, it’s frustrating watching Patrick Mahomes put his hand realllyyy close to someone’s face and say “I’m not touching you” over and over but Andy Reid didn’t slip a $100 in a ref’s back pocket. Roger Goodell isn’t sitting the officials down in a hotel ballroom before kickoff to drill home how badly he needs them to destroy the integrity of the game so they can run more Travis Kelce Campbell’s Soup ads.
The Kansas City Chiefs won because of shit like this.
Tremendous play by Patrick Mahomes — a perfect throw as he was being tackled to the ground. pic.twitter.com/bETbzvlO4B
— Pete Sweeney (@pgsween) January 18, 2025
Patrick Mahomes can throw touchdown passes horizontally. That’ll win you some games.
The Houston Texans are losers
The Texans missed 2 field goals.
They committed 8 penalties for 82 yards, and those weren’t 8 flags on Mahomes flops.
CJ Stroud suffered 14 QB hits and got sacked 8 times.
Entering the 4th quarter down 20-12, a one-possession game, Houston had 4 possessions to win the game.
They turned the ball over on downs as CJ Stroud was sacked on 4th and 10 for a loss of 16 yards.
Here’s Korean call of 4th down sack by George Karlaftis! #ChiefsKingdom pic.twitter.com/IBQXtAShNV
— 준 Jun (@Royals_Jun) January 19, 2025
Next, they punted on 3 plays.
Again, still 20-12. A one-possession game.
They ran 3 plays, gained 4 yards and punted the ball right back to Kansas City.
After giving up a field goal, Houston had a little bit more juice the next drive. After an 11-play drive, the Chiefs blocked their field goal attempt.
They had one final possession with 11 seconds left. CJ Stroud knelt so they could get to the handshakes sooner.
But after the game, Will Anderson alluded to the refs favoring Kansas City.
“We knew going into this game, man, it was us versus everybody. And when I say everybody, it’s everybody,” he said. “Knowing that going into this game, what we were up against, we can’t make the mistakes that we made. Whether it’s special teams not converting our kicks; defensively, not being where we’re supposed to be in coverage; offensively, not protecting our quarterback and keeping him clean. You married that on top of everything else that we have to deal with, it’s just going to be a really tough uphill battle.”
The Houston Texans are losers.
How are teams supposed to stop Patrick Mahomes?
If Will Anderson claims the Houston Texans went into this game knowing how Mahomes manipulates the referees, they wouldn’t have two defenders diving helmet first as he dropped to the floor.
I recognize these are split-second decisions but again, we are all aware of how Mahomes is
So either
A.) Maybe stop shoving him out of bounds and diving helmet-first at him.
Like, actually tackle him.
He’s not juking linebackers out of their cleats. Just wrap up and tackle him instead of crashing out, trying to send him to the afterlife.
OR
B.) SEND HIM TO THE AFTERLIFE.
Knock his teeth down his throat, suffer the 15-yard penalty and literally knock that bullshit out of Mahomes.
But there’s no half-stepping.
I remember Sean Payton handing out brown paper bags full of cash to any defender who hit Brett Favre so hard he’d leave the game on a stretcher in the 2009 NFC Championship Game.
Thank god Favre survived that game. The Southern Miss women’s volleyball team wouldn’t have their new facilities.
You want Patrick Mahomes to stop being cute with the ball? Send him to the ER.
But you should also stop them from sacking your quarterback every 3rd down and maybe don’t let them block your field goals.
The Houston Texans are losers.
I don’t think they’ll be losers forever but CJ Stroud getting through Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Joe Burrow and Josh Allen to the Super Bowl is about as likely as Bonnie Blue finding a healthy, loving relationship.
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