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NFL Wild Card Weekend Awards

NFL Wild Card Weekend is where we separate the real title contenders from the Denver Broncos. Let’s give out some awards for the first round of the playoffs.

nfl wild card weekend

2025 NFL Wild Card Weekend wasn’t the most competitive two days of football ever—especially after watching the College Football Playoff semifinals earlier in the week—but it’s the Wild Card round.

Bo Nix was here.

We were never going to get a weekend full of bangers.

Anyway, let’s give out some awards for NFL Wild Card Weekend as I need Monday content and do not feel like waiting for the Vikings and Rams to play tonight. Gotta get these jokes off ASAP.

Here are your 2025 NFL Wild Card Weekend Awards:

The Disaster Class Award: Los Angeles Chargers

nfl wild card weekend

I know the Denver Broncos lost by more points to the Buffalo Bills but their game was arguably the best team in the NFL against a young team that got hot at the end of the season and were fortunate the Cincinnati Bengals were weirdos.

The Chargers vs. The Texans, however, shouldn’t have been a blowout.

Shit, the game went into halftime with Houston only up 10-6.

But Justin Herbert was on some bullshit.

For the first time in his entire football career, Herbert threw 4 interceptions in one game.

My guy literally had one of the worst playoff games in NFL history.

The offense crumbled.

Herbert’s passes hit receivers in the hands and landed in the waiting arms of defenders.

The Chargers offensive line did not seem interested in keeping any Texans pass rusher in front of them as Herbert was pressured on more than half of his dropbacks.

But most importantly, I’m still not entirely sure if the Houston Texans are even good.

Like, their offense only started moving and grooving when they began their possessions in great field position off turnovers. Otherwise, it was CJ Stroud being asked to turn into Patrick Mahomes, making something out of nothing and CJ Stroud ain’t that guy, buddy.

Didn’t matter.

Chargers got mollywhopped.

Connor Stallions died for this.

The “Too Much Dip On Your Chip” Award: Marshon Lattimore

nfl wild card weekend

Marshon Lattimore and Mike Evans have been battling their entire careers in meaningless Saints/Bucs games but this was their biggest matchup to date.

And Mike Evans beat Lattimore’s ass up and down the field like that bulldog whenever he got his hands on Tom while Jerry giggled in the background.

In just the first half, Evans was targeted 4 times when being defended by Lattimore, making 4 catches for 55 yards, including a touchdown.

Lattimore wanted to go one-on-one with Evans, instead of the Bucs double-teaming Evans and Marshon got dogwalked.

My guy is lucky Baker Mayfield has the right-sized hands to reach behind the couch and pull the iPhone charger out of the wall to bring to the outlet next to the bed at night but the wrong-sized hands to hold an NFL football.

Yike.

The “That Shit Looks PAINFUL, Yo” Award: Daron Payne

nfl wild card weekend

Daron Payne is a legend in Washington.

My man doesn’t have to wait for a table to open up in any restaurant.

King of DC.

More power than your favorite politician.

And I would rather pay 3x the cost of every meal for the rest of my life than get my hand crushed at the bottom of a pile by a cleat to the point where my finger is so detached from the knuckle it looks like I might have 6 fingers.

No thanks.

The “I Would Have Totally Beat That Guy Up Hypothetically” Award: Eagles Fan

This Green Bay Packers fan went to Lincoln Financial Field, home of the Eagles, and was shocked to be harassed by drunk Eagles fans.

A strange old man called this guy’s girlfriend an ugly cunt while he grabbed his phone to record the old man, later adding custom captions for the video so he can post it to social media and be like “Ugh, aren’t Eagles fans the worst when you wear full opposing team’s gear to their home stadium”.

I’m not invested in this altercation.

You shouldn’t call strangers cunts and you shouldn’t try to go viral on social media by standing there as your girlfriend gets called a cunt.

Personally, I would have simply watched the game from home but hey, maybe more people would read Deadseriousness if I went to random stadiums wearing Giants gear with my cunt girlfriend.

But I more so love 99% of the comments being people, laying in their bed, writing “I would’ve left in handcuffs after beating all those guys up.”

I love the internet so much.

It is flooded with grown adults pretending like they all would’ve stopped 9/11 from happening if they were on that plane. I, too, am Jason Statham in manufactured hypotheticals in my own imagination.

The “Homer Simpson Wearing Those Tiny Reading Glasses” Award: AJ Brown

aj brown

One of my favorite little gags from The Simpsons is whenever Homer puts on his little reading glasses to represent how serious in thought he is.

The Eagles beat the Packers 22-10 on Sunday but wide receiver AJ Brown finished with only 1 catch for 10 yards.

Sure, the Eagles won but Brown had no real impact on the game so naturally, he grabbed a self-help book to read on the sidelines like he had an exam in the morning.

Earlier this season, reports on AJ Brown and Jalen Hurts hating each other spread across the NFL media thanks mostly to one of their teammates going on his weekly radio show and straight-up saying they weren’t cool.

And now, 3 wins away from becoming Super Bowl champions, AJ Brown is passive-aggressively fake reading on the sidelines—looking through the corner of his eyes to see if Jalen is looking back over at him because it’s more important for AJ Brown to be seen than to actually win games.

Which I’m okay with.

Not everyone plays sports to win championships.

It’s like watching a reality dating show.

Everyone’s there to be on television and get Instagram followers. Hey, if they actually end up falling in love in the end then that’s a cool bonus but they’re here to become sponsors for middling clothing brands that’ll send them free shit.

I’m sure it would be cool for AJ Brown to win a Super Bowl or whatever but it’s obviously more important for him to have 10 catches for 100 yards. And that’s fine. And hilarious. I’d probably be the same way.

Also real quick, I love Tom Brady on these Fox broadcasts. “I haven’t seen too many people read books…but I’ve seen a quarterback eat a hot dog!”

All game long he refuses to give any real insight that only a former NFL legend can provide or any x’s and o’s that only the greatest QB can provide and instead, he vomits up lazy cliches.

The one time we finally get him to open up about what it’s really like on an NFL sideline and he’s just like “Matt Cassell ate a hot dog next to me once. Cool, right??”

He’s the highest-paid NFL broadcaster and because he has an ownership stake in the Raiders, he isn’t allowed to even show up to the midweek practices.

He has the best job in the world.

Brady does a fraction of the work while just grinning ear-to-ear, randomly jumping in to say “You have to hold onto the football to win games in the National Football League”, a conclusion most viewers had surmised long before Brady arrived.

The “I Did My Job” Award: Mike Tomlin

nfl week 7

I wasn’t going to say anything negative about the Denver Broncos or Pittsburgh Steelers because going into the season, I didn’t think either team stood a chance of getting to NFL Wild Card Weekend.

Bo Nix and Justin Fields were not it.

But I had to write something about Mike Tomlin after the NFL broadcast continued showing him on the sidelines after every Steelers mistake looking expressionless, as if he was in total peace with what he did this year.

Mike Tomlin has one job: finish above .500.

As long as his team finished the season with more wins than losses, he gets to keep his big ass house.

Making the playoffs is a bonus but no one asked him to win playoff games—especially with a 36-year-old, undersized narcissist and a star wide receiver that’s just Kadarius Toney with like, slightly fewer demons in his ear.

Biggest Winner: Lamar Jackson

nfl week 18

At this point, I’m not sure if it’s laziness or genuine adoration as it feels like I’ve given the Biggest Winner award to either Lamar Jackson or Josh Allen every single week this year but Lamar Jackson could not lose in the Wild Card round this weekend.

There is nothing the NFL media loves more than declaring something as an irrefutable fact and then beating their chest when their preconceived notions are actualized. Lamar Jackson has looked bad in playoff games therefore he is incapable of ever playing well in the postseason. No additional context that literally every team looks bad against the Kansas City Chiefs every year and only one team gets to win the Super Bowl and so far it hasn’t been Lamar’s time. Nope. Lamar has lost so he will always lose.

He’s only 28 by the way.

Nick Wright would’ve been carried on set like a pharaoh draped in gold being fed grapes by young succubine if Lamar Jackson lost that playoff game.

Biggest Loser: Dan Snyder

dan snyder

The Washington Redskins had evolved into a sex trafficking, money laundering operation named after a slur against Native Americans.

Josh Harris took over and instantly transformed this organization into serious weekly contenders with adults in positions of power and no desire to send hidden cam photos of their naked cheerleaders to potential sponsors.

From head coach Dan Quinn, to vets like Zach Ertz and Bobby Wagner—this team was constructed properly and they were instantly rewarded with a miraculous 12-win season and a first-round playoff game against a Buccaneers team that would’ve lost by 50 to the Detroit Lions if they won.

Look what can happen when you run your football team with the intention of winning football games instead of treating it like a sports car you use to drive 100mph into brick walls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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