As a Yankees fan, I’m conflicted.
On one hand, I should be celebrating the arrival of Cody Bellinger.
After missing out on Juan Soto thanks to an overzealous security guard cosplaying as Ethan Kopech from the new Netflix movie, Carry-On, the Yankees managed to take the billion dollars meant for Soto’s wallet and distribute it out to some major acquisitions like Devin Williams, Max Fried and now Cody Bellinger from the Cubs.
TRADE: The Yankees are acquiring outfielder Cody Bellinger from the Cubs, per multiple reports. pic.twitter.com/5mL7UUyhj8
— FOX Sports: MLB (@MLBONFOX) December 17, 2024
The 28-year-old lefty is coming off a bit of a down year after finishing in the Top 10 of MVP voting in 2023 but Cody has always wanted to play in pinstripes and the 2019 NL MVP would fit perfectly in the batting order between Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton— maybe.
I want to love this move except I ride with my boy Giancarlo Stanton.
From 2018-2019, Giancarlo Stanton dated model, Chase Carter.
Apparently, the two broke up when Chase saw Giancarlo liking photos of Arianny Celeste, a UFC ring girl.
Less than a year later, Chase Carter began dating Cody Bellinger.
They are now married with two children.
Giancarlo Stanton should demand a trade immediately.
A beta might stick around for the greater good.
A cuck would stay to be humiliated for the sake of the team.
Real alphas like myself would never allow ourselves to be in this position in the first place.
You have to stand on principles and one of my principles is you don’t get to dump me and immediately date another, borderline more successful writer than me, even if it’s 100000% my fault the relationship didn’t work.
I know some people may understand Chase Carter’s situation.
All she wanted from Giancarlo was respect and he went behind her back moving crazy on Instagram, like, he was literally hooking up with a model and could not help himself from looking for the next model to hump.
If Giancarlo didn’t want his girlfriend to find a better boyfriend then he should’ve been that better boyfriend. Sure.
But Stanton can’t travel across the country for half the year with Chase—who already met all the other girlfriends and wives a few years ago—just kee-keeing and giggling, having the time of her life with her new hot husband while Giancarlo goes through a hitting slump—swinging through curveballs in the mud because all he can think about is that night he asked Chase to do a step-sibling roleplay and she looked at him nervously so then he had to quickly say “ha ha I’m kidding I’m KIDDING” before he begged her not to tell anyone.
And now Stanton is expected to go to work on the first day of this upcoming season and dap up Cody Bellinger knowing in the back of his mind that Cody miiiiight know about his little step-sibling thing.
Giancarlo should already be texting his agent looking for new opportunities.
Either that or the Yankees could save a few dollars on getting Stanton his own room for road trips because Stanton can stay in the Bellingers’s hotel cuck chair.
I don’t see any stories about Stanton wanting out so it looks like I’m more of a man than him.
I would have Brian Cashman hanging upside down over a balcony ledge until he sent me or Cody out of here but that’s just how an alpha male moves.
I guess we’ll find out if Stanton is an alpha male or some loser woke cuck.
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