Sam Darnold and Daniel Jones Should Both Be The Minnesota Vikings Starting Quarterback

We’re weeks away from 2025. A new start. A fresh beginning.

Do we really want to continue allowing masculinity-driven competitions to persist when, for the first time in NFL history, the Minnesota Vikings could have two men co-pilot the starting quarterback position?

QB Daniel Jones plans to sign with Minnesota Vikings after clearing waivers. (via @rapsheet, @tompelissero, @cameronwolfe) pic.twitter.com/dJ28WMfqHj

— NFL (@NFL) November 27, 2024

Daniel Jones joins the 9-2 Minnesota Vikings to help Sam Darnold lead this squad to a Super Bowl.

Now, Jones will only make $375,000 from Minnesota and play on the practice squad but after 6 years in the Giants organization, the Vikings need to sit Jones inside a tent for a while, wrapped in a blanket with hot cocoa on the way.

Jones just lost his job to a pizza delivery boy who found a magic amulet that granted him one wish but at a tremendous cost—and although he knew the consequences, Tommy DeVito wished to become an NFL quarterback—costing him his family in an unexpected house fire but getting him the attention of Brian Daboll—a chubby baby coach man cursed by Tommy’s amulet.

So I’m glad Daniel Jones is out of that weird sitch.

And now he’s joining Kevin O’Connell and a Vikings coaching staff that exorcised Sam Darnold’s washed-up corpse.

Here’s what Sam Darnold’s done so far this season:

67.6% completion percentage
2,717 passing yards
21 touchdowns (4th)
101.7 passer rating

Sam Darnold is no longer seeing ghosts buuuuuuuuuuuuut there’s some room for improvement. We can all better ourselves.

His 10 interceptions is 4th in the league. Darnold can use some help back there.

Enter Daniel Jones

Daniel Jones handing out personal invitations to the weight room pic.twitter.com/CFYOffAa58

— Dreadlef Schrempf (@TheLesterLee) November 3, 2024

Why not let them share the QB1 duties?

You know what’ll kill a championship run? Anxiety.

If Sam Darnold starts to feel as if he’s one mistake away from the bench, he may lose his confidence and then keys are suddenly thrown to Daniel Jones—who, too, is anxious, feeling as though he is unprepared and may let down the lovely, hearty city of Minneapolis.

Sam Darnold and Daniel Jones should alternate drives—taking turns and having fun, maybe growing as friends and one day brothers.

Sam Darnold starts the games because, uh, well, I think you’d rather see Daniel Jones on the field when your team already has the lead as opposed to when you’re trailing.

Darnold can hit Justin Jefferson for an explosive play down the field for a quick, easy touchdown.

Then Daniel Jones and Aaron Jones can operate the Army offense, just running option plays over and over until the opposing defense taps out.

Then Sam Darnold comes back to hit them with another bomb on their heads to Jefferson.

More teams should have duel QBs like Sam Darnold and Daniel Jones.

And I hope they become very close friends—so close their families share one house and their children all grow up in this strange Brady Brunch-esque Minnesota home having strange puberty thoughts about each other, attempting to morally wrap their minds around the fact that they’re technically not related but they grew up together in a way that makes these thoughts weird and wondering why their dads hate New York so much.

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