in Featured, NFL

2024 NFL Week 6 Awards

From Trevor Lawrence getting outplayed by a rookie to the Dallas Cowboys just getting outplayed period, here are your NFL Week 6 awards.

nfl week 6

NFL Week 6 was the week of blowouts as the great teams ascended while the bad teams got dogwalked all day long.

I’m writing this shortly after watching my beloved New York Giants play Russian Roulette against the Cincinnati Bengals all night until they eventually couldn’t keep converting nonstop 4th downs. i will take this pain out on Trevor Lawrence.

Here are your NFL Week 6 Awards:

The Disaster Class Award: Dallas Cowboys

nfl week 6

The Detroit Lions beat the dogshit out of the Dallas Cowboys.

Dallas just lost 47-9 at home, giving up 492 yards and looking like a team that hadn’t considered practicing all week.

I reckon the Cowboys defense was supposed to struggle without Micah Parsons and Daron Bland. Perhaps if the 2 All-Pros were playing, Detroit would’ve only scored 40.

Their thin defense aside, the Dallas Cowboys cannot figure out how to run the play, gaining just 53 yards on the ground. Dallas has been held to under 100 rush yards in 4 of their first 6 games. Ezekiel Elliot has fewer yards per attempt than 40-year-old Aaron Rodgers.

Also doesn’t help when you make your quarterback the highest-paid ever and he plays catch with the opposing team’s safety.

Mike McCarthy will pay for his sins.

The “He Cant Keep Getting Away With This” Award: Keenan Allen

nfl week 6

Keenan Allen has been good since he was on the Chargers. The San Diego Chargers. He was drafted by the Chargers the same year as Manti Te’o. Keenan Allen is old as hell.

And it doesn’t matter because he’s still a certified bucket-getter. Allen grabbed 2 touchdowns across the pond. The traditional power forward lives on.

The “Start Stealing From Work” Award: Antonio Pierce

nfl week 6

I knew the Raiders would be bad, ya know, with their overall lack of talent.

No team going into the season with Gardner Minshew as their QB1 should be emailing the city to plan their Super Bowl parade routes.

But this team is super ass.

The Pittsburgh Steelers just blew them out 32-13. It was as if the Raiders boat sprung a leak and everyone on the team helped out by drilling more holes.

Las Vegas committed 4 turnovers (one blocked punt, two fumbles, one interception) and had some backbreaking penalties.

Why is Aidan O’Connell playing in the NFL?

This is when Antonio Pierce should start seeing what he can take home before the Raiders give him the Robert Saleh treatment and escort him off the premises on a random Monday. Bring an empty duffle bag with you and take whatever fits.

It’s over.

The Red Zone MVP Award: Jordan Love

nfl week 6

Here’s what Jordan Love did to the Cardinals offense in Green Bay’s 34-13 win:

  • 22-for-32
  • 258 yards
  • 4 touchdowns

Jordan Love is The One, capable of being reality to his whim.

Anytime the Packers are in the 1pm slot, you can expect NFL Redzone to frequently cut to Jordan Love throwing a ball off his back foot that lands 50 yards in the back of the endzone where only his wide receiver can come down with it.

Love’s 12 passing touchdowns are 2nd in the league right now and if Green Bay can win a STACKED NFC North, Jordan Love is taking home an MVP trophy.

The Carson Wentz Award For Cartoonish Hijinks: Will Levis

nfl week 6

The Titans bye week was tough. Too many QBs going out there and like, producing at a high level. Disgusting.

Thankfully, Will Levis was back in action this week, throwing a nice little touch pass in the end zone to Nick Westbrook-Ikhine before once again doing what he does best: chaotic nonsense.

Here he is sprinting full speed into the ACL of a random ball boy on the sidelines:

They don’t make these types of QBs anymore, man. Guys who have no real body control—turning into Bambi on the frozen lake whenever they’re put under any pressure.

The “GET OUT OF HERE” Award: Trevor Lawrence

trevor lawrence

Enough of this shit.

Caleb Williams, the current no. 1 overall pick, just scored 4 touchdowns while Trevor Lawrence ended most of his drives jogging through the punt team coming onto the field.

Drake Maye made his NFL debut today. He threw 3 touchdown passes and had a larger impact on his team than Lawrence ever feels to have on his.

I know the Jaguars front office sucks. Doug Pederson has only been good once in his career and he’s been living off the success of that Eagles Super Bowl for far too long.

But Philip Rivers played for some trash front offices and weird coaching staffs—still won exponentially more games than Lawrence who was supposed to be the greatest prospect ever and plays like he’s being forced to do so against his will.

Maybe he needs a Sean McVay figure to save him like McVay did with Jared Goff but it would be nice if the No. 1 overall pick was the guy doing the saving.

Beat it, Trevor. Let Mac Jones go out there and suck.

Biggest Winner: Russell Wilson

nfl week 6

Russell Wilson has been suuuuper quiet about not starting for the Pittsburgh Steelers. This man has never been this quiet.

Interesting.

Wilson is in the perfect position at this point in his career. He gets to suit up every week, serving as some hypothetical season-saver if Justin Fields starts to fail and he doesn’t have to ever actually get on the field to show everyone how washed he is. His check clears regardless.

If Justin Fields had a bad game against the Las Vegas Raiders, Russ was 1000% getting thrown into the starting lineup. But Fields came threw with 2 rushing touchdowns as the Steelers left Vegas with a 32-13 victory.

No matter what, Russ’s direct deposit hits every Friday. Do your thing, Justin.

Biggest Loser: Saquon Barkley

nfl week 1

The Philadelphia Eagles narrowly escaped a Cleveland Browns team that plays as if they spend the week breaking down Three Stooges film, mastering their slapstick shenanigans. Saquon Barkley rushed for only 47 yards on 18 carries.


The Browns had hands and feet on Barkley as soon as the ball touched his flesh.

But my favorite play from Saquon was this 2nd and 1 where he caught the ball is open space for the first time all game and rushed to the sidelines to avoid contact instead of getting the ONE YARD he needed.

Saquon Barkley may have left a losing organization but he brought that stinky loser energy with him up the turnpike.

 

 

 

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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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