thelesterlee
The Boston Celtics have a squad full of chokers. Like, generational chokers on the level of a Gianna Michaels/Carmella Bing tag team video. Sure, they have the best regular season record this year but they’ve done most of their damage against an Eastern Conference where 33% of the teams are tanking.
Jayson Tatum is a BUCKET. He’s the leader of the best team in the NBA and yet no one believes he deserves to be the MVP. He isn’t on the level of guys like Nikola Jokic or Luka Doncic. Jayson Tatum is light skin Paul Pierce.
Tatum has had an absurd amount of success at a young age including 4 trips to the Eastern Conference Finals and a Finals appearance losing to Steph Curry’s Warriors. But he’s also had the fortunate of playing on some of the most talented rosters. Al Horford, Kemba Walker, Kyrie Irving, Jaylen Brown and Luke Kornet of course.
Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals with the opportunity to play in the Finals dangling above the ring like a WWE ladder match, Jaylen Brown shot 34% from the field, 11% (ELEVEN PERCENT) from 3 and turned the ball over to the Miami Heat 8 TIMES.
For whatever reason, as soon as the playoffs start, Jrue Holiday transforms into the weirdest point guard in the league and has Javale McGee-level decision-making. My man will just step into a contested 3-pointer with 19 seconds left in the possession as a treat for playing good defense on the other end.
Kristaps Porzingis is a bitch.
So needless to say, I figured a more physical team like the Knicks or the Heat or even the Magic, would send the Celtics home early.
That was until I saw Joe Mazzulla pull up to a radio station dressed like this:
Thanks to Joe Mazzulla for joining us in studio today! pic.twitter.com/zMrc9GrLZb
— Zolak & Bertrand (@ZoandBertrand) April 10, 2024
The leg sleeve??? The ONE leg sleeve?? The No Bull tee with the Celtics game shorts and one leg sleeve just to do a like, 5-minute pop-in at the local radio station.
Nevermind. I wasn’t familiar with Joe Mazzulla’s game.
Prior to this discovery, I thought Boston’s best chance at winning was with Ime Udoka who led them to the NBA Finals and screamed at them like they were his misbehaving stepsons before the Celtics fired him for being too horny.
Well look at the way Mazzulla dresses. This is not a man thinking about sex. Coach Mazzulla is dressed like he’s about to head to the card game with the fellas and tell them all about the time he definitely for sure touched a woman’s breast and it felt like a bag of sand.
This is the dedication required to win championships. No texts. No calls. Just ball.
Does Joe Mazzulla got that shit on? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Coach Mazzulla can lead the Celtics to the promised land.
