Adam Silver, Sean McDermott and Understanding That You Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, Gotta Hand It To Them

NBA Commissioner, Adam Silver, has always been strange to me. Like, he looks like he collects women’s clothing. What he does with them is his business but there’s something off about this man who looks like he speaks fluent Parseltongue.

And then he went on the Pat McAfee show this week to hype up the NBA In-Season Tournament and, for no reason at all, compared himself to hell’s new baby boy, Henry Kissinger

Adam Silver is asked by Pat McAfee about the NBA’s place in international relations and compares himself to Henry Kissinger, “one of the great global diplomats” before telling ESPN’s audience he is a “big believer” in a strong military… pic.twitter.com/LHUCrgt4L4

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) December 6, 2023

“I get pulled in, though not always in a positive way,” Silver began. “I will say I was reading a lot of those long obituaries around Henry Kissinger’s death at 100. And where he was sort of an exemplar of one of the great global diplomats, and I want to say I understand, and this is going to be far afield of your question, I of course believe we have to have a strong military. I’m a big believer.”

Pat McAfee asked Adam Silver if he feels an obligation to be a part of international relations and instead of responding “No, I run a basketball league. That is a stupid question”, he chose to say “Yes, I love Henry Kissinger and I wish he were still alive so I can kiss his mouth”.

Henry Kissinger is a war criminal who dedicated his life to taking away the lives of brown people across the globe.

He is personally responsible for several genocides including bombing the everloving shit out of Cambodia for no real reason at all.

Adam Silver saw Kissinger destabilize multiple Latin American countries to help put brutal but cooperative dictators in power and thought to himself “Wow, he just like me”.

Also super odd for Adam Silver to praise Henry Kissinger who once said “If it were not for the accident of my birth, I would be antisemitic. Any people who has been persecuted for two thousand years must be doing something wrong.”

Not a great time to praise antisemitics.

But Adam Silver is a smart guy.

I mean, even the dumbest guy you know has a brief understanding that Kissinger is the antichrist.

Silver wanted to use this opportunity to let people know that he’s all about maintaining American global power regardless of the bloodshed, death toll or generation-incinerating consequences.

And this is why, despite all the criticism, I love the Pat McAfee show.

He makes guests feel comfortable enough to randomly share their worst opinions unprovoked.

Aaron Rodgers just sees Pat’s cut-off shirt and HAS to tell him how much he hates Dr. Fauci for attempting to make people, uh, take medicine.

And now Adam Silver is out here saying “he believes in a strong military” in the middle of a convo about international NBA players.

Some people don’t need to be interviewed by a former NFL punter to share their admiration for the worst people to ever live.

Buffalo Bills head coach, Sean McDermott, wants his team to be more like Al-Qaeda.

Never Forget

A Bills reporter recently dropped a story of Sean McDermott attempting to motivate the team during the 2019 training camp in which he encouraged them to act more like the 9/11 hijackers.

Here’s what an anonymous player told the reporter about that weird ass speech:

At St. John Fisher College in Pittsford, N.Y., McDermott’s morning address began innocently enough. He told the entire team they needed to come together. But then, sources on-hand say, he used a strange model: the terrorists on Sept. 11, 2001. He cited the hijackers as a group of people who were all able to get on the same page to orchestrate attacks to perfection. One by one, McDermott started asking specific players in the room questions. “What tactics do you think they used to come together?” A young player tried to methodically answer. “What do you think their biggest obstacle was?” A veteran answered, “TSA,” which mercifully lightened the mood.

The Buffalo Bills are currently 6-6 and struggling to stay in the playoff picture this season.

Sounds like it’s time to gather the boys around and ask them to brainstorm ways they could hijack a plane together or whatever.

It feels like McDermott has lost the locker room but maybe it’s because he stopped comparing the team to terrorist organizations.

Before their next game, McDermott needs to ask them ‘What would Saddam Hussein do??”

I want to take this opportunity to let both Adam Silver and Sean McDermott know that you do not, under any circumstance, gotta hand it to Henry Kissinger or Osama Bin Laden.

Sure, Ivan The Terrible drowned his wife when he found out she wasn’t a virgin but hey, at least he was decisive. You gotta hand it to him for that.

Yes, yes, Idi Amin slaughtered hundreds of thousands of Ugandan civilians but like, one day we’re going to have more population than we have resources so Amin was just making it better for future generations. Gotta hand it to him there.

Okay, Diddy seemingly raped every girl he was in a room with but Mo Money Mo Problems is a SLAP. Gotta hand it to him.