thelesterlee
The New York Giants released Daniel Jones this week, just a year and a half after winning a playoff game in 2022 and deciding to commit with a 4-year, $160 million contract.
According to ESPN, the Daniel Jones situation was over two weeks ago when a reporter saw Giants players sitting around a phone re-watching clips of Jones getting sacked on a flea flicker while two wide receivers stood alone 20 yards down the field.
Getting sacked on a flea flicker where you have TWO open WRs is such a Daniel Jones thing pic.twitter.com/NX05UWqWEa
— Billy M (@BillyM_91) November 10, 2024
99% of QBs would’ve scored a touchdown on that play but the Daniel Jones-led Giants had to punt.
But it’s not Daniel Jones’s fault.
What’s he supposed to do, stuck throwing to Malik Nabers—the most talented rookie in the NFL—and Wan’Dale Robinson—one of the best yards after-the-catch receivers in the NFL?
Lose-lose situation. Especially against a lockdown Carolina Panthers defense allowing opposing teams to score 31 points a game against them, the most in the NFL.
*shakes fist at sky* HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO DANIEL JONES?!?!
At just 27 years old, Jones may have more to give to the game of football.
I mean, he’s done an amazing job giving the football away his entire career so he may not have more to give but let’s talk about what’s next for the guy who wasted 6 years of my life.
Here are 8 perfect landing spots for this guy:
1. Los Angeles Rams
Sean McVay is the best head coach on the planet.
I genuinely thought Baker Mayfield would be out of the league running a car dealership with Josh Rosen by now.
Week 11 of the 2022 season, Baker led the Carolina Panthers to a 13-3 loss to the Baltimore Ravens. The Panthers didn’t score a touchdown. Baker through 2 interceptions. They benched, then cut him.
Baker spent the second half of that season in LA with McVay and came out looking like a Top 10 QB in the NFL.
(I’d like to add more context to my Baker is a Top 10 QB take by saying most NFL quarterbacks struggle to put together 3 straight great games without a random 2 two-interception stinker in the middle. Baker is consistently great.Thank you, Sean. )
Jared Goff looked like the worst No. 1 pick ever.
Sean McVay got the job and Goff went to a Super Bowl.
I don’t think Daniel Jones needs to start a single game for the Rams either.
Just have him sit down with McVay—allowing him to diagnose Jones’s flaws—but most importantly, I think McVay’s superpower is instilling confidence in his guys to perform, allowing them to unlock the peak of their athletic potential.
Let McVay break Jones down and build him back up.
(Okay, quick aside again. Carson Wentz was on the Rams last season and he’s in Kansas City now. Is there a reality where Carson Wentz removes the hero ball/my guy’s down there somewhere/”We’ve combined the genetics of Brett Favre, Nathan Peterman and Lindsay Lohan to create the most chaotic force ever to touch a football field” plays from his game then we may have a new MVP candidate gestating.)
2. Cleveland Browns
One for them, one for me.
Going to the Rams would save Jones’s career. Cool. Good for him.
But Daniel Jones going to the Browns is for me.
First of all, Daniel Jones just looks like a stereotypical Cleveland Browns quarterback. Big Brady Quinn/Kelly Holcomb/Charlie Frye/Cody Kessler/Derek Anderson energy. He was made to wear those uniforms that make Browns players look like steaks cooked at various temperatures.
Need, need, NEED a Daniel Jones vs. Deshaun Watson QB battle. With Jones’s 46.5 QBR and Watson’s 22.5 QBR, Kevin Stefanski may remove the forward pass from his playbook.
3. Birmingham Stallions
Did you know the Birmingham Stallions had the best offense in the United Football League last season? Daniel Jones had a rough time against NFL defenses but I don’t know man, I think he has a real shot against the Arlington Rednecks. I really do.
The defending UFL MVP, Adrian Martinez, played exactly zero (0) NFL games. Daniel Jones could average 10 touchdowns a game. Not enough people are okay with being big fishes in small ponds.
4. High School football coach
Daniel Jones could really make a difference in the local North Carolina community, giving back to the youth and sharing his NFL experience with kids who are astronomically more talented and can use Jones’s information to actually succeed in this world.
Just because Jones doesn’t physically react fast enough to throw into tight windows doesn’t mean everything he’s learned should go with him to his new hedge fund.
5. Generic media personality
I use “personality” as a job title, not a description.
Daniel Jones has never displayed a personality.
Kay Adams would throw herself at him and he’d nervously chuckle as if he was struggling to discern human emotions and was unsure of how he should be interacting with other people.
That said, I just watched EJ Manuel do a 3-minute college football hit on SportsCenter this morning. EJ Manuel had an even worse NFL career than Daniel Jones and now he’s a random innings eater, hoping to hide under the radar from ESPN’s super public layoffs every 6 months.
Jones can chat with Elle Duncan on Sportscenter to give his little Thursday Night Football preview 90 seconds weekly. Anyone can.
6. Jake Paul’s next boxing opponent
Jake Paul is building an empire off occasionally standing in a boxing ring and tapping gloves with someone who is either A.) Not a boxer or B.) Old enough to have trouble driving to the arena at night.
Daniel Jones would be the perfect opponent for Jake Paul. At 6-foot-5, 230 pounds, Daniel Jones could physically trick more people into believing this is finally the fight Jake Paul gets KOed while simultaneously serving a quick final payday for Jones before he becomes a real estate agent with a bunch of really cool professional athlete stories to tell his clients over dinner.
7. Donald Trump’s cabinet
White boy mediocrity is BACK. Get that “DEI” shit out of here.
America is done making sure all ethnicities and genders get equal opportunities to succeed in the country.
Honestly, American is done making sure any qualified people, regardless of color, get to the top.
Meritocracy dead.
Donald Trump’s cabinet selections are setting the tone for a new tomorrow.
It is all about being a crony. You pledge your loyalty to that game show host and you get whatever you want.
Daniel Jones posts an IG wearing a MAGA hat tonight and he might be the Secretary of Defense by Monday morning.
What’s his experience for one of the most important positions on the planet? He threw 70 career touchdowns, dog. What do you mean? He’s overqualified compared to some of these throat goat sycophants getting appointed. All of our country’s water will be like Flint Michigan’s in like, 18 months but at least Daniel Jones will have his pick of any teenage girl he wants.
8. McDonald’s cashier
Yo, did you know you can create your order in the McDonald’s app before you pull up to the drive-thru window and they’ll just have that shit ready to go for you when you arrive?
I’m just saying, now is the easiest time to work at McDonald’s. You barely have to interact with anyone anymore.
Big. Fish. Small. Pond. You’ve got options, Danny.
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