7 Biggest Losers of NFL Week 15

NFL Week 15 just happened and there are still 3 more weeks left in what feels like the longest and worst NFL season of my lifetime—but that’s a conversation for another day. Right now, let’s make fun of some people who had a rough week.

Here are the biggest losers of NFL Week 15:

1. Brandon Staley

Brandon Staley took a high-pressure job he was severely underqualified for and managed to fake it for 2 and a half years before being fired this week after the Las Vegas Raiders beat the ever-loving shit out of his team.

He had a chance to coach a team with a generational quarterback so I understood him taking the job before he was ready but now, he’ll never get the opportunity to be a head coach again. No risk no reward I reckon.

He’s leaving Los Angeles with a 24-24 win-loss record. The perfect picture of mediocrity. What a legend. Brandon Staley is being inducted into the Jeff Fisher Hall of Fame of mid.

2. Travis Kelce

The Kansas City Chiefs beat the New England Patriots 27-17 but it was an emotional rollercoaster for KC who should’ve easily beat one of the worst teams in the NFL.

Let’s talk specifically about Travis Kelce who was out here dropping passes in front of the hoes.

TAYLOR KELCE IS NOT HAPPY THAT TRAVIS KELCE DROPS AN EASY TOUCHDOWN.

YIKES…😳😳😳 pic.twitter.com/pbQepCxdhy

— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) December 17, 2023

Odell Beckham danced in the endzone sometimes. Everyone and their mothers were saying how much of a distraction he was for the Giants. He knocked over the kicker’s net once and people were talking about that man like he deserved the death sentence.

Travis Kelce has podcasts and documentaries and is dating one of the most famous women in North America who attends all of his games and gets shown more frequently than Patrick Mahomes but we’re all just sort of pretending Travis Kelce being ass this season is totally unrelated to his off-field extra circulars.

Ok.

Also here’s Kadarius Toney with one of the nastiest drops you’ll ever see:

Kadarius Toney 💀pic.twitter.com/7xIG8T56f4

— JPAFootball (@jasrifootball) December 17, 2023

And here’s Kelce being wrong as shit about him:

3. Nick Mullens

Nick Mullens actually had a good game in the Back Up QB Bowl against Jake Browning and the Cincinnati Bengals. Minnesota lost 24-27 while Mullens threw for 303 yards and 2 touchdowns.

But it only takes one egregious error to make it on this list.

Still can’t believe this INT from Nick Mullens 🙃 pic.twitter.com/SUmlQH8B9d

— Caesars Sportsbook & Casino (@CaesarsSports) December 16, 2023

I mean, you just can’t throw interceptions to offensive linemen sitting on the grass.

4. ESPN

Last week, Cam Newton went on his podcast and called Dak Prescott a game manager. The ESPN Get Up crew spent an entire day mocking Cam for having such a ridiculous take.

Let’s take a look at what Dak Prescott did in a huge game against the Buffalo Bills:

132 yards
0 touchdowns
1 interception
57.7 passer rating

The Cowboys lost 31-10. Dak Prescott is a game manager. Shrug.

5. Brock Purdy stans

Speaking of game managers, Brock Purdy once again had a perfect football game and no one knows how to talk about him without declaring him the best quarterback on the planet (which he isn’t) or a bum who is only benefitting from playing under Kyle Shanahan’s system (which he isn’t).

Brock Purdy is obviously benefitting from playing with a strong offensive line, talented position players and a coach who knows how to get those position players open. But we also saw Jimmy G lose a Super Bowl because he simply could not make all of the throws he was asked to and Brock Purdy can.

But all of you who think Purdy is the best QB or deserves the MVP over Christian McCaffrey or Lamar Jackson are attention-seeking losers. Be normal about this.

6. Derrick Henry

Derrick Henry is the first player in NFL history to have at least 20 touches in a game and produce less than 15 yards from scrimmage.

— Ryan McDowell (@RyanMc23) December 17, 2023

Derrick Henry is one of the greatest running backs of his generation and it looks like his career is approaching the finish line. I know he’s 5th in rushing yards this season but I’m more so speaking on where the league is at and where he is.

Long gone are the days where a team gives their star running back 30+ carries and gradually throughout a game, the running back physically wears a defense down until they break a huge run. With fewer carries, guys like Henry are rendered irrelevant. Most of these new backs like the ball in space and don’t need the ball over and over to be effective like Henry does.

Derrick Henry will most likely play for a different team next season and he will have a weird ass year with them.

7. Coniglio’s Pizza

Coniglio’s pizzeria and bakery in Morristown, NJ says that it will no longer have Tommy DeVito at the restaurant this Tuesday.

They said they were told his fee increased from $10,000 to $20,000 after the Packers win and the family biz said they couldn’t afford it.

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) December 18, 2023

Shout out Tommy DeVito raising his appearance fees. The price of a brick is going up in New Jersey. Yesterday’s price is not today’s price.

“Fuck you, pay me” -Tommy Touchdowns.

Thanks for reading. Go ahead and sign up for the D, the daily Deadseriousness newsletter sent directly to your inbox every AM.