7 Biggest Losers of NFL Week 13

There have been 13 weeks of NFL football and somehow I’m still watching which means the New York Giants are still relevant and that might be the biggest surprise of the year.

But every week there are winners and there are most certainly losers.

Here are the 7 biggest losers of NFL week 13:

1. The head coach hiring process

We were all told not to overreact to the Colts hiring an ESPN anchor as their head coach midseason because he was good with people or some shit but the wheels have completely fallen off almost immediately.

At one point, the Colts trailed Dallas 19-21. They then proceeded to give up 33 unanswered points and lost 54-19 on Sunday Night Football with the whole wide world watching exposing Jeff Saturday—the guy who coached a high school football team to a 3-7 record. He couldn’t beat the Cedar Grove Saints. Why the fuck did he think he could beat the Dallas Cowboys?

2. The American justice system

I feel like you shouldn’t be able to expose your little wee wee to 20+ women who did not want to see your little wee wee and then just continue to be an NFL starting quarterback yet here we are watching Deshaun Watson play football on Sunday as if none of that happened.

Deshaun Watson interception LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/L6WDHLGACE

— Dead Serious (@Deadseriousness) December 4, 2022

Love watching him struggle but the Browns still beat the Texans 27-14 despite Watson’s 28.6 QBR and doing nothing of value while the Browns defense did all the work. It really sucks that Ben Roethlisberger retires and Deshaun Watson just carries the sex predator baton now.

3. Betting on yourself

Lamar Jackson entered this season on a mission to prove he’s worth as much if not more than the sex pest in Cleveland is worth. Statistically, he is performing nowhere near as well as he did in his MVP season and now he’s out with a knee injury.

The Ravens just won without him. It was a nasty game and had one of the worst trick players ever.

Did not go as planned.

📺: #DENvsBAL on CBS
📱: Stream on NFL+ https://t.co/lqj1QeUtXY pic.twitter.com/eUX4crwiSp

— NFL (@NFL) December 4, 2022

But if you want to prove your worth, you’re going to want to spend less time cursing at fans on Twitter and more time on the field contributing to wins.

4. Miami Dolphins

If this was a more positive article celebrating winners and the unbelievable achievements of these young men who put their bodies on the line to entertain us then I would have had an entire section devoted to San Francisco 49ers 3rd string QB Brock Purdy who threw 2 touchdowns and led them to a 33-17 victory over the Dolphins.

But this article is exclusively about losers and the Dolphins really let the LAST pick of the NFL Draft dogwalk them up and down the field. Tua threw a 75-yard bomb but no one will talk about it this week because Brock Purdy—a guy you wouldn’t recognize if he was walking around the local grocery store in a Brock Purdy jersey—just dragged his nuts all over Miami like Jimmy Butler going out on a Friday night.

5. Trusting Mike White too much

Big White Mike fan here at Deadseriousness. Appreciate any QB who has the irrational confidence to think he can make every throw but definitely can’t (and it’s a weird little baby like Baker Mayfield). But the Jets put too much faith in their sweet baby boy this Sunday.

Down 22-27 with the ball on the goal line inside of the 2-minute warning, the Jets elected to throw the ball on both 3rd and 4th down. They didn’t score. The Jets wins are almost exclusively tied to their run game decided not to run on the 1-yard line.

6. Justin Herbert and Josh Allen

This week, the Cincinnati Bengals beat the Kansas City Chiefs 27-24. Last time these two teams met, the Bengals won and advanced to the Super Bowl. If we all believe Patrick Mahomes is the best QB in the NFL then Joe Burrow is his kryptonite.

But the losers this week are Justin Herbert and Josh Allen who are always considered to be right behind Mahomes talent-wise yet always lose to the Chiefs year after year. Herbert and Allen are good or whatever but they’re no Joe Burrow.

7. Justin Fields

I haven’t written much about the 2022 Chicago Bears because if they don’t seem to care about winning or losing then why should I care for them? But when the Bears go up 16-3 on the Packers and I’m prepared to write the Aaron Rodgers obituary, a 19-28 final score forces my hand.

I have to write about how bad Justin Fields is and his strange decision-making. He can run his ass off though so there’s that. Shrug.