thelesterlee
We’ve got some brand new MLB storylines we need to talk about, believe it or not. This week we have Clayton Kershaw conveniently scheduling a Christian night after the Dodgers planned a Pride night, the Pittsburgh Pirates falling off a cliff and a Gary Sanchez update.
Here are 5 MLB storylines we gotta talk about this week:
1. April Flowers Bring May Showers
The Pittsburgh Pirates went 19-9 in April and looked like they had conjured some secret formula to win baseball games. In May, they went 6-18 looking as if they had misplaced that secret formula and went back to having to play baseball without the assistance of the dark arts.
We are always critical of how players act once they finally get their big payday. The best players in the world continue to produce at a high level regardless of their new tax brackets while other players fall off a cliff the second the pen hits paper.
But we never bring this same energy to their coaches.
The Pirates signed manager Derek Shelton to an extension at the end of April and this team has been abysmal ever since. Shelton’s career coaching record is 169-269. This team is coming off back-to-back 100-loss seasons and for some reason, the front office thought it would be a good idea to lock Shelton down long-term because he won a bunch of games in April which is essentially extended Spring Training for most teams.
And this is why the Pittsburgh Pirates continue to be irrelevant in today’s game. Their ownership is cheap and the second they find a glimpse of success, the front office makes terrible decisions like extending a coach who has no idea what he’s doing out there.
2. Julio Rodriguez is BACK
J-Rod is one of my favorite players in the sport. He’s only 22 years old and looks like he stepped out of a time machine from the Civil Rights Movement. He has one of the best-looking swings in baseball right now and growing up watching those stacked Seattle teams of the late 90s/early 2000s, I think I’m a sucker for those Mariners jerseys.
But my man came out of the gates cold as hell. Here’s what Julio did in his first 44 games this season: .204/.280/.376 (.656 OPS), 0.7 WAR, 94 wRC+.
Now, he’s had 6 consecutive multi-hit games including back-to-back homers against the struggling Pirates and then my beloved Yankees.
New episode of the J-Rod Show just dropped pic.twitter.com/gjo4g3s7Xs
— Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) May 28, 2023
Look at that swing. What a beaut. Julio Rodriguez was named the AL Player of the Week and it looks like he’s only now heating up. Pray for MLB. Julio is coming.
I think we’re witnessing a future Hall of Famer so I am actually rooting for him to continue this path to putting up historic numbers and hopefully after a long career of success, we can all look back and be thankful we witnessed Julio Rodriguez smack baseballs into upper decks.
3. Aaron Judge is doing it again
I wasn’t planning on writing about Aaron Judge this week but this does help me fill my mandatory Yankees quota. The man happened to play one of the best games anyone has played this season on Tuesday night so let’s give him his flowers—although I imagine at this point, he has run out of room in his home to fit all of the flowers he’s received in the last 18 months.
We can talk about his bat all day but let’s not forget Judge also happens to be one of the best outfielders in the game today. In the bottom of the 8th inning with two outs, Mariners right fielder Toescar Hernandez thought he hit a big home run.
Jumpman, jumpman, jumpman. @TheJudge44 is up to something. pic.twitter.com/94NtXNZXGd
— New York Yankees (@Yankees) May 30, 2023
He did not.
Oh, Judge also happened to hit his American League-leading 18th home run of the season and is on pace to match his record-breaking home run total from last year.
Some people get paid and start coasting like Derek Shelton. Some people get paid and do the same exact shit they did the season prior.
4. Clayton Kershaw is a dork
Last week, I wrote about everyone losing their minds over the Los Angeles Dodgers hosting a Pride Night and inviting a specific group known for dressing up as nuns ironically. Homophobic bigots have done an incredible job of pretending to be okay with Pride Night but are super against people dressing up as nuns because it disrespects their Christianity. It’s truly a masterclass of bullshit. These people hate gays and have found a highly specific group of gays to hate knowing they can use their religion as a shield and unfortunately, it’s working.
Dodgers ace, Clayton Kershaw, has gone as far as setting up his own Christian family night.
Excited to announce the relaunch of Christian Faith and Family Day at Dodger Stadium on July 30th. More details to come— but we are grateful for the opportunity to talk about Jesus and determined to make it bigger and better than it was before COVID. Hope to see you on July 30th! pic.twitter.com/yNu7HyEgR9
— Clayton Kershaw (@ClaytonKersh22) May 26, 2023
Here’s what Kershaw said about his lame-ass Christian night:
“I think we were always going to do Christian Faith Day this year, but I think the timing of our announcement was sped up,” Kershaw said. “Picking a date and doing those different things was part of it as well.
“Yes, it was in response to the highlighting of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.”
Christians make up about 65% of the American population. Everyone who is in a position of power of has any influence in this country is Christian. Yet, the moment their religion is mocked they act as is if they are the most persecuted group of people on Earth without acknowledging that perhaps those men satirically dress as the faces of a religion that outwardly rejects and hates them.
It’s just a shame Kershaw spends so much time worshipping a god that allows him to get his ass beat every time he pitches in the playoffs. Strange god only appears when gay people are around but is seemingly busy when Kershaw has to get out of the 4th inning in first round of the playoffs.
5. Gary Sanchez is ran through
Last week, we talked about Gary Sanchez’s return to New York. He was a Met for about 4 days before he was cut once again. Since 2021, Sanchez has played for the Yankees, Twins, Giants, Mets and now he has a new home in San Diego.
First hit as a Padre for Gary Sanchez! pic.twitter.com/RTABiIm4Oh
— Mr Matthew CFB (@MrMatthewCFB) May 31, 2023
If Gary Sanchez can figure out his swing then he will be joining a super team in San Diego with Manny Machado, Xander Bogaerts, Juan Soto, Fernando Tatis Jr and the ghost of Nelson Cruz. They have a World Baseball Classic team and they’re 25-29 so far this season.
ORRRRR, Gary will play on all 30 MLB teams being passed around back and forth. Used. Ran through. Spent. El Gary, you dirty dog.
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