I love the US Open. After weeks of golf clapping at the French Open or Wimbledon—American fans stumble into Flushing, Queens—drunk on $14 Budweisers—hooting and hollering at US players like we’re in a dimly lit backroom, watching a cock fight—and we bet our life savings on Chico. Foreign players are truly flying into an away […]
Corruption is up double digits right now. And Texas just stole the ball again—throwing an oop to themselves off the backboard. The team up 50 now wants to change the rules to make sure they always stay up. Texas’s new proposed redistricting map—the redrawing of district boundaries—will guarantee Republicans 5 more congressional seats. You always […]
In 2005, at age 31, Jake Plummer—one of my favorite QBs back in the day—an OG gunslinger who I imagine used to jog into the huddle on first down and say—”watch me throw this football over them mountains”—had the best season of his NFL career. After getting the wind knocked out of them in a […]
I. Am. For. Sale. Toooo many folks crashing out and cashing out around me—while I write my cute little jokes—for free. Every week, I see someone like Robert Griffin III, sitting next to his wife—who looks like his little brother, using a fake Sega Genesis controller, so she feels like they’re working together—giving his annoying […]
I would love to be considered amongst the greatest to ever type words but unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever come close. I highkey suck at this. I lack, like, the basic fundamentals. Abritrary punctuations, run-on sentences and typos top to bottom. These are caveman drawings. Middle school doodles on the backs of worksheets. Honestly, […]
Hey, everyone’s going through something. We’re all in constant battles. It’s hard out here for a pimp. And it’s also hard for the hoes, of course. The Johns probably have a lot they’re working out as well. We don’t kink shame here but I know they’d be happier spending their money elsewhere. Go find love. […]
I wanted to start my 2025 NFL season previews with positivity. Nazis and perverts have swarmed every government body in the last few years and I don’t want to add to the nonstop annoying, depressing shitposts flooding everyone’s timelines 24/7. However, I still have to get a littleeeee hate out of my heart, as a […]
War of the Worlds is a modern reimaging of H. G. Wells’s original story from the 1800s, a story retold countless times over the years. Tom Cruise starred in one 20 years ago with Dakota Fanning. It was fine. Perfect movie for a Sunday afternoon in bed after a long ass Saturday night in the streets. […]
I’ve been waiting to hand out awards until I realized I was waiting to see what happens with Al Horford and Josh Giddey. Never delay anything in your life in anticipation of Al fucking Horford news. Anyway, with the NFL season starting soon and baseball coming down to the homestretch, this is the perfect time […]
How Did 2024 Go? Record: 3-14 31st-ranked offense 21st-ranked defense The Giants won 3 more NFL games than you and I did. Outside of Drew Lock having one of the greatest single games in the history of the sport—a performance to be passed down from generation to generation of Lock’s like Drew slayed the Gorgon—you […]
Last week, Micah Parsons announced he’s done playing around with the Dallas Cowboys. Thank you Dallas 🦁👑 🙏🏾! I pic.twitter.com/EUnEj9uRUt — Micah Parsons (@MicahhParsons11) August 1, 2025 Micah Parsons wants his money and Jerry Jones is playing in his face, attention-hoarding as he runs from the grim reaper in his dreams every night. Last season, […]
Welcome to The Pipe Bomb, where we discuss the latest news and events from the wrestling world, both inside and outside the ring. This week, let’s talk about WWE SummerSlam 2025. Triple H hangs with a pedo This year, WWE wanted Summerslam to feel as big as Wrestlemania, announcing the first-ever 2-night card. This […]
Micah Parsons has made 3 All-Pro teams (First Team All-Pro 2021. 2022, Second Team All-Pro 2023). He’s a 4-time All-Star. The 2021 Defensive Rookie of the Year. He’s finished in the Top 3 in Defensive Player of the Year voting 3 of his 4 first NFL seasons. Parsons missed 4 games last season with a […]
Gilbert Arenas is one of our greatest basketball journalists. Every night, you can tune into Gil’s Arena on YouTube—a show where he, Rashad McCants, Nick Young and Brandon Jennings give expert insight into the world of basketball. Each episode is Peabody Award worthy, as these savants break down the intricacies of the game. It’s like […]
BREAKING: New York Knicks forward Mikal Bridges has agreed to a four-year, $150 million contract extension with the franchise, agents Sam Goldfeder and Jordan Gertler of Excel Sports Management tell ESPN. The new deal includes a player option for 2029-30 and a trade kicker. pic.twitter.com/xuiYvzykqJ — Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) July 31, 2025 It’s official. […]
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