thelesterlee
With the 2024 NFL season around the corner, let’s make wild predictions about who will win all of these awards based on nothing but hunches, assumptions and gut feelings: The Deadseriousness Way.©️
Here are my 2024 NFLseason awards predictions:
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Braden Fiske/Jared Verse
Aaron Donald is the greatest defensive lineman of his generation. And he is freshly retired.
It’ll take more than one person to fill the shoes of the maniac who trained against knives in the offseason.
Which is why I’m giving Rookie of the Year to both Los Angeles Rams rookie linemen because combined, they may be able to touch Donald’s greatness.
Darkhorse—Chop Robinson:
chop robinson untouched for a TFL pic.twitter.com/9ZLZWrjYNI
— josh houtz (@houtz) August 18, 2024
You thought I wouldn’t be all in on the dude named Chop??
Defensive Player of the Year: Khalil Mack
Uhhhh, Khalil Mack is coming off a 17 SACK season.
And now he’s being led by the most intense head coach in the NFL, who had a top-10 defense all 4 seasons with the 49ers.
Mack is about to be unleashed in a way we’ve never seen before.
He doesn’t even need to have as many sacks as last year. All he needs is the exposure and Jim Harbaugh will have the Chargers discussions opening up ESPN shows every Monday morning.
Khalil Mack is coming.
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Malik Nabers
I know we like to write off wide receivers when they don’t have star quarterbacks but last season, Michael Pittman Jr, Adam Thielen and Davante Adams all had 100+ receptions playing with backup QBs, although Gardner Minshew keeps starting so many games every year despite not being that good at it. Good for him.
Anyway, yea, Daniel Jones sucks and sucky quarterbacks love nothing more than chucking the ball to their star receivers, no matter the defensive coverage. Malik Nabers is going to get a TON of targets this year. He’ll catch most of them.
Darkhorse—Caleb Williams:
nobody will remember:
– your salary
– how “busy you were”
– how many hours you workedpeople will remember:
– Caleb Williams to Rome Odunze in the third preseason game of 2024 pic.twitter.com/tA7hh2hS3T— Chicago Bears (@ChicagoBears) August 19, 2024
Caleb will be decent or whatever.
Offensive Player of the Year: CJ Stroud
I know this award typically goes to a skill player but the way I hear the NFL media talk about CJ Stroud, I can tell they just want to fill his garage with awards.
The Texans added Stefon Diggs and Joe Mixon. They could easily have the no. 1 ranked offense in the NFL and CJ will be receiving all of the credit, whether he deserves it or not.
Darkhorse—Saquon Barkley: I have lived my life all of my life. Good things do not happen to me. 1000% chance Saquon Barkley leaves my favorite team and has the best season of his career with the division rival. That’s just how things go for me.
The Most Washed Award: Aaron Rodgers
In Aaron Rodgers’s last full season, he led the Packers to an 8-9 record and had a worse quarterback rating than Daniel fucking Jones.
If he was still good, he’d be on the Green Bay Packers.
A 40-year-old coming off an average season in 2022 and an achilles tear in 2023 doesn’t seem like the recipe for success in 2024.
Plus, there’s something about putting on those Jets jerseys that dampens talent but I think we’re about to witness the absolute worst season of Aaron’s career before he retires out of embarrassment to start a podcast where he immediately puts all the blame on someone else’s shoulders before a rant about how the government is tracking us through our cell phones—but he’d present the information as if he just uncovered the greatest secret in American political history while all of us pretty much know we’re being tracked and don’t give a shit about it.
Darkhorse—Ezekiel Elliot: I cannot believe the Cowboys replaced a washed Ezekiel Elliot with Tony Pollard and then replaced a washed Tony Pollard with a super duper washed Ezekiel Elliot.
Jerry Jones only interacting with players he specifically drafted when there is an entire league full of talented players mayyyyy be a problem. Shrug.gif.
Least Valuable Player of the Year: Deshaun Watson
highest rate of incompletions due to inaccurate passes:
43.9% – Deshaun Watson
40.6% – Tyrod Taylor
38.8% – Trevor Siemian
37.7% – Bryce Young
36.7% – Lamar Jackson
36.2% – Jordan Love
36.1% – Trevor Lawrence
35.6% – C.J. Stroud
35.4% – Aidan O’Connell
35.0% – Kenny Pickett…— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) August 21, 2024
Deshaun Watson is literally the least valuable player in the league. Watson has the biggest cap hit in the NFL and the Browns are significantly better when he’s injured and Joe Flacco comes out of retirement to save them.
Deshaun is currently injured once again.
The Browns put EVERYTHING on the injury-prone pervert. There is truly no one in the NFL who is a bigger detriment to their organization than the guy DMing local professionals and forcing them to do unprofessional shit.
Darkhorse—Daniel Jones
Daniel Jones with the savvy veteran play. Why give up 2 points when you can give up 6. Chess not checkers. pic.twitter.com/QNXwJHfEOO
— Dead Serious (@Deadseriousness) August 17, 2024
Soooo, yea.
MVP: Justin Herbert
If I haven’t made it clear yet, I am all the way in on Jim Harbaugh and the Los Angeles Chargers. For the first time in his NFL career, Justin Herbert has a football coach instead of an algorithm with Brandon Staley and just vibes with Anthony Lynn.
Jim Harbaugh saved Alex Smith’s career. He turned Colin Kaepernick into a Super Bowl quarterback. Shit, he just got JJ McCarthy drafted no. 6 overall this year.
Justin Herbert is about to show out.
Chargers in 4.
Darkhorse—Tyreek Hill: The formula for Miami’s Super Bowl run was actualized last season when they went to Kansas City in the first round, unable to move the ball downfield because the temperature dropped below 50 degrees.
The Dolphins would need to be the 1 seed to avoid any cold outdoor games. So like, what if they just do that?
Tua Tagovailoa certainly won’t be credited for their success which means Tyreek Hill will win the MVP as we all ignore how weird he is when he isn’t on a football field.
Also, yea, I know Patrick Mahomes will somehow win all of these awards and another Super Bowl. Go read that boring shit over at Bleacher Report.
Thanks for reading. Go ahead and sign up for the D, the daily Deadseriousness newsletter sent directly to your inbox every AM.
Who do you think should win 2024 NFL season awards? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
