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Yoenis Cespedes Fell in a Hole (??)

The Mets’ long-lost outfielder, who has been out since last July after undergoing double-heel surgery, sustained multiple fractures in his right ankle following a “violent fall” on his ranch in Port St. Lucie, general manager Brodie Van Wagenen said Monday.

Cespedes communicated to the team that, “He stepped in a hole and twisted his leg and foot into a difficult position,” Van Wagenen said. The rookie GM added it was his understanding that Cespedes didn’t fall off a horse.

While Van Wagenen wouldn’t say as much, the serious injury clearly means Cespedes will miss at least the duration of this season, with his availability for next year in question. (NY Post)

After the New York Mets were swept over the weekend by the Miami Marlins, the worst team in baseball (history), GM Brodie Van Wagenen held a press conference Monday afternoon.

We all suspected that manager Mickey Callaway would be fired because ya know, Mickey Callaway stinks at his job, but instead Brodie opened the presser up with a super fun Yoenis Cespedes update that no one on Earth asked for.

No one:

BVW: Cespedes broke all his bones.

Yoenis Cespedes signed a 4-year $110 million contract and has been injured from the second he signed his name on the dotted line. After having to end the 2018 season with weird injuries to both of his heels, there was hope he’d return in 2019 post-All Star break.


Cespedes fell in a hole.

There are some reports that he fell off a horse while others are saying it’s ‘non-horse’ related, which is an important detail that I expect in all future injury reports.

Please let us know if horses were involved or not.

It’s very clear that there is some lying going down.

Whether Cespedes is lying about how he broke his ankles as to avoid getting in trouble and losing money for participating in non-baseball horse activities


Brodie Van Wagenen is hiding the truth which could very easily be the case considering that Brodie looks like a man who has never once in his life told the truth. He looks like the 80’s guy from Futurama who got rare bone cancer.

Can’t wait to be in Astoria this weekend smoking hookah with Cespedes and Robinson Cano blowing millions upon millions of dollars on non-horse activities as none of the three of us play baseball.

I just want to know if he fell off a horse or fell into a hole or fell off a horse into a hole.

Go Mets!

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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