yadier molina

Yadier Molina Needed Emergency Surgery After Taking a Foul Ball Off The Dick

I’ll be honest, you’re going to want to avoid taking pitches of the dick. Just a rumor I heard. Can’t confirm though. Need more data.

Yadier Molina will be out for at least a month after taking a foul ball of the balls from a 102mph pitch by Jordan Hicks. The St. Louis Cardinals are 20-12 and leading the National League Central by 1.5 games over the Milwaukee Brewers and have taken full advantage of the Chicago Cubs of 2018 playing like the Chicago Cubs of 2008.

Watching that brutal play makes me want to go back and watch Casino Royale where Daniel Craig gets his balls obliterated and then bangs Eva Green(?) Not sure how he is able to perform after the torture scene. See, now I really need to go back and watch Casino Royale. How fire was that opening chase scene?

Brb, watching Casino Royale.

By god.

Send Eva Green into Yadier Molina’s hospital room and he’ll be back in time for their next game. This season, Molina is batting .272 with 6 homers and 17 RBIs as he’s off to a pretty hot start. The Cardinals are going to need him back sooner than later.

No catcher is better at calling a game and putting their starting pitcher in the best position to win games. No catcher had their dick busted by a foul ball. Life isn’t fair.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Yadier Molina should probably wear like, a cup. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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