31-Year Old Jacqueline Ades from Phoenix simply did what I imagine all Arizona women do. She went on a date with a guy she met online and proceeded to text him over 65,000 times in less than a year and some days, homegirl would send about 500 in 24 hours. Ya know, just checking in on bae. Nothing crazy.
Some people might say Jacqueline Ades went overboard last summer after they went on one date and Ades then parked outside of this guy’s house randomly for so long that the guy eventually had to call the cops. But that’s just dating, baby. Do you know how much I would kill for this kind of attention?
After the cops made her leave the premises, she texted this guy ‘“Oh what would I do w ur blood! … Id wanna bathe in it”. This is the type of dedication I’m looking for in a potential girlfriend. If you’re not bathing in my blood, girl, then someone else will. Day one I hand out a vile of my blood on a necklace. It’s up to you to wear it.
About a month ago, this guy with clear commitment issues, called the cops when he found surveillance footage of Jacqueline Ades taking a bath in his tub while he was on vacation. Again, what’s the big deal? This is dating in 2018. Grow up.
But she wasn’t done courting this young man as earlier this week, she showed up to his job and was promptly escorted from the premises. I wish bae would visit me at work. I want my next girlfriend showing up at Deadseriousness HQ uninvited just like, staring at me as she stands in the doorway and doesn’t say a word to me. Relationship goals.
Oh, and as far as the Nazi thing goes, here is Ades had to say in that regard:
According to the news outlet, Ades called herself the “new Hitler” in another text.
In another message, Ades alleged wrote: “Don’t ever try to leave me…I’ll kill you…I don’t wanna be a murderer.”
Ades told cops that she never wanted to hurt the man and sent the messages because she did not want him to leave her, AZCentral.com reported.
So, the Hitler thing isn’t great but it’s not like she WANTS to be a murderer. She’s, in fact, telling him the opposite. She DOESN’T WANT to murder. That’s like when Jonah Ryan on Veep told that president that he WASN’T going to rape her and she overreacted.
I honestly don’t see the problem here. If anything, we should be pointing the blame at this guy. We all know what happened at the end of that first date and now Jacqueline Ades is addicted to what that dick did. Naturally, she needed more and kindly let her interest be known by flooding his inbox with aggressive texts.
Dick 2 Bomb. Free Jackie.
Sidenote: this photo of her can’t be real, right? She literally looks like a ‘psycho girlfriend’ meme on Facebook that your Aunts keep sharing on your newsfeed.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re jealous of all the attention this guy is getting. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.