Woman On The Run After Poisoning Her Husbands Lucky Charms Because She Didn’t Want to Hump Him

A woman from Nevada is on the run after poisoning her husband’s Lucky Charms cereal all to get out of having sex with him.

Andrea Heming pleaded guilty to contaminating her husband’s food after putting boric acid in his cereal, energy drinks and even whipped cream.¬†

The chemical is often used to kill cockroaches. The man suffered from diarrhea and nose bleeds for months before he realized what was happening. 

When questioned by police, Heming admitted to poisoning his food.

A police report states Heming told police, ‘I wouldn’t use that much to kill him, but just enough to make him not have an erection.’

(Daily Mail)


I just want to quickly say to any wife out there who doesn’t want to have sex with their husbands, that there is an easier way to kill an erection than putting boric acid in their Lucky Charms. I want/need to make that extremely clear before there becomes an epidemic of dudes with diarrhea and nose bleeds every time they crack open a Kellogg’s box.

But poor Andrea Heming. All she wanted was for her husband to stop wanting to bang all the time and now she’s on the lam and ducking cops for the rest of her life. I blame the husband for 1. pressuring his wife into sex so much that she had to resort to poison just to get a break from his advances.

2. Letting his wife go out and buy insect poison every single day while also not questioning why she all of a sudden wants to pour your cereal every morning. Really, guy? Bitch is trying to kill you. What adult man is eating whipped cream and drinking energy drinks on the regular? 3. He has the diet of a 9-year old and the awareness of an 8-year old.

Let’s let Andrea Heming go and arrest the idiot who was married to her. I don’t even take free energy drinks from those slutty Red Bull girls that hand them out on the beach. You think I’m taking an OPEN drink that you hand me? Hard pass.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Andrea Heming will never be caught by the police. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.



Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.


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