A woman mistook a jail security booth for a fast food drive thru, attempted to order a breakfast sandwich and ended in up handcuffs on Friday, according to the Suffolk County’s Sheriff’s Office.
Police said Lizabeth Ildefonso, 44, drove up to the Riverhead Correctional Facility around 10:12 a.m. and tried to place an order for a “bacon, egg and cheese.” Deputy Sheriff Yvonne DeCaro informed Ildefonso that she was at a correctional facility and not a drive thru.
“The driver insisted that she really wanted a sandwich,” the sheriff’s office said.
The sheriff’s office said Deputy Decaro noted that Ildefonso’s pupils were dilated, her eyes were glassy and that she had a white powder residue in her left nostril. Ildefonso was arrested after she performed poorly on standardized sobriety tests and was found to be driving without a valid license, according to police.
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Lizabeth Ildefonso was flying off that ‘white powder’ and found herself driving towards what appeared to be a drive-thru window. When the hearts wants a bacon egg and cheese, there is nothing you can do until you get that bacon egg and cheese. It’s almost like how a fiend feels when they want cocaine.
But real quick, she knew she was pulling up to a jail, right? This was without a doubt all part of a master plan to distract the prison guards during an escape. This is textbook misdirection.
Look, everyone knows once you have coke in your system, the last thing you want to do is eat. You’re more focused on explaining why the moon landing was fake to whoever will listen to you while your teeth are grinding. You’re not driving to a jail for breakfast.
There is for sure one less prisoner this week. Someone definitely escaped while Lizabeth was playing with the guards out front. I’ve seen this movie before. I assume this ended with her winking at the camera while George Clooney crawled out of a sewer down the block.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Lizabeth Ildefonso was just a decoy in a much bigger scheme. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.