— Aquaman Movie (@aquamanmovie) July 16, 2018
The Aquaman poster has been revealed and the trailer for the movie is set to be released sooner than later. This movie probably should’ve been released before Justice League and before we saw that the DCEU decided to turn Aquaman into a frat bro but James Wan is the director of this movie and he directed Furious 7 so if anyone can handle frat bro movies, it’s Wan.
In Justice League, Arthur Curry had somewhat abandoned Atlantis and instead, lived in some ‘fisherman by the sea’ ass village drinking Coronas at the local watering hole that 1000% could not have had beer distributors dropping off truckloads of Coronas so he must’ve brought them to the bar with him.
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Clearly, DC had decided that their version of Aquaman was going to be ‘cool’ as opposed to the blond haired blue eyed twink from the original comics but the problem is, DC has no idea what ‘cool’ looks like. Suicide Squad was supposed to be ‘cool’ and it looks like if a pack of Crayola metallic markers busted open inside of a kids backpack all over his Joker comic books.
The culmination of that desire to be cool is putting Aquaman in leather pants even though he mostly chills underwater. Have you ever worn a leather jacket in the rain? First of all, you ruined that jacket. Second, the moment water seeps into that leather it becomes like a weighted vest. All of a sudden it feels like you’re wearing shoulder pads because the leather is so heavy.
You expect me to believe that Aquaman is swimming around the ocean floor in leather pants? He might as well be tying cinderblocks to his legs.
Here’s what James Wan had to say about the Aquaman leather pants situation that again, makes zero logical or practical sense and is not in anyway an indicator of how ‘cool’ Aquaman is:
Hahaha that’s hilarious, James Wan. What, is Jason Moma supposed to wear freaking swimming trunks for crying out loud? Hahaha too funny, too funny. This is a pretty cute way to deflect a question that I wish a movie director had thought about prior to making the movie instead of now during the promotion of that movie.
Aquaman could easily wear latex or spandex or whatever scuba diving suits are made of. There. Problem solved. Call me next time you have a dumb wardrobe decision, DC.
I should probably mention that I think this movie is going to be great.
I trust Amber Heard and Nicole Kidman to not suck. Wonder Woman was one of the best movies out last year and I imagine a similar outcome for this. Justice League set the bar quite low so the sky’s the limit here.
Leather pants underwater are dumb.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re hyped for this Aquaman leather pants movie or whatever. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.