DRAKE VS KENDRICK PERKINS?! OK pic.twitter.com/ecl3VKRBmp
— Def Pen Hoops (@DefPenHoops) May 2, 2018
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) May 4, 2018
For whatever reason, the second round of the Eastern Conference Finals has devolved into a celebrity Twitch stream where there is a 24-hour cam on the sidelines after every single shot made in the second half of these games.
It is impossible to go on Twitter during these games and not see videos upon videos upon videos of Drake and Kevin Hart being assholes on the sidelines. You can’t avoid these manchildren acting as if the games are a green screen behind them in their own little Funny or Die sketch.
Drake has anointed himself as the Prince of Toronto and the city has given him seats on the sidelines that are pretty much on the bench. Does any other arena have those special Drake seats by the scorer’s table? My man is literally screaming in Kelly Oubre’s ear standing directly in front of Raptors head coach, Dwayne Casey because Drake somehow has a better spot on the floor than the fucking coach.
Drake tried to fight Kendrick Perkins. Kendrick Perkins is the one player on the Cleveland Cavaliers that you don’t want to fight. His literal role on the team is protection. He isn’t even dressed to play. He’s LeBron’s personal security. Drake called him a ‘fucking pussy’ and tried to fight him in the tunnel after the game.
Kevin Hart’s ability to know where the cameras are at all times are a blessing for his own personal brand and a curse for those of us who are like ‘why is Bleacher Report obsessed with posting clips of Kevin Hart?’. When was the last time a Kevin Hart stand up special or movie made you rush to the theatre/Netflix? 2011? Never?
Last week, there was a beautiful moment where Meek Mill was released from prison after he was disgustingly abused by the Philadelphia justice system, anddd every single photo and video of Meek enjoying himself at the Sixers game was photobombed by Kevin Hart. There was a 0% chance that these two men were friends prior to his arrest but Kevin Hart knows where the cameras are going to be at allllll times.
This Celtics/76ers series has taken place in Boston thus far so Kevin hasn’t gone ‘full Kevin’ yet but now the series heads back to the Wells Fargo Center where we are destined to be waterboarded with clips of Hart parachuted in from the rafters to goaltend a Jayson Tatum 3-point attempt.
So who is the more annoying fan?
At the end of the day, Drake is a true fan. Drake isn’t here for our entertainment. He’s really about this life. Everything Drake does is tactical. He’s a technician. God’s Plan and Nice For What were genius moves. Drake screaming at Perkins isn’t a move for us. That’s a blackout drunk fan screaming at an opposing player but Drake happens to have the best seats in the house and there are consequences for his fandom.
Kevin Hart does everything in an attempt to improve his networth. I firmly believe that he watched zero 76ers games this season and now that every game is on national television, he has manifested himself into every single video that exists.
Kevin Hart is the most annoying fan because he isn’t really a fan. He could have no movies come out and I’ll always believe that he’s out trying to promote a movie. Jumanji 2 is in production, probably and Hart refuses to fade away from trending on Twitter.
BOOOOO that man.