So I’ll be honest with you guys, I’m still mad at Star-Lord and Doctor Strange for basically handing the universe over to the villain. Thanos was beatable and The Avengers handed him the keys to their own destruction.
I still can’t sleep at night.
But let’s start with Star-Lord because my man fucked up TWICE.
On that planet Knowhere, Gamora made it very clear to Peter Quill, she knew where the Soul Stone was and Star-Lord had to kill her before Thanos extracted the information out of her. No one else in the universe outside of the Red Skull knew where that stone was except for Gamora.
And Peter Quill let Thanos take her.
Although, I can at least defend this act, sort of. As a man who has defeated insurmountable odds in the past, I’m sure he felt confident enough to protect his wifey. Fine. There’s also no way he knew that Thanos’s reality stone was going to turn his gun into a bubble maker. That wasn’t on his Wiki page.
I’m annoyed as hell but that’s not even the worst of Star-Lord’s dumb ass actions in Infinity War. I don’t even want to describe it. Let’s go right to the game tape:
The Infinity Gauntlet was SECONDS away from coming off Thanos’s hand and Star-Lord decided to have a dramatic and selfish moment about his girlfriend THAT HE LET THANOS TAKE LIKE, AN HOUR EARLIER.
I’m still sick.
All Peter Quill had to do was let Spider-Man and Iron Man take the stones and he could’ve had the one-on-one fight with Thanos that he wanted but nope, that son of a bitch decided to make the battle of the universe about himself.
But let me save some of my rage here because I haven’t even spoken about Doctor Strange yet.
First, Doctor Strange and Thanos have a cute little flirting sesh where Thanos tells him all his hopes and dreams and it’s honestly a beautiful first date. One of my favorite Rom Com scenes.
Doctor Strange had the final stone on him. He could control time. And he just handed it to Thanos. I don’t want to hear that Strange used the time stone earlier to see that out of 14,000,605 possible outcomes, the only one where the Avengers won is when he gives Thanos the time stone.
I don’t want to hear the dumb theory that Doctor Strange ‘cursed’ the stone somehow. And I don’t want to hear that he didn’t want Thanos to kill Tony Stark because it was made loud and clear earlier in the movie that Strange gives zero fucks about that man and plus, giving Thanos the stone would potentially kill everyone there regardless.
Doctor Strange managed to somehow help out in the universe’s destruction more than Star-Lord did.
If you saw Strange’s solo movie then perhaps you can understand my frustrations a little more. Strange beat Dormammu in one of the most genius ways I think I’ve ever seen a hero defeat a villain by using the time stone to trap Dormammu in a time loop where he kills Strange over and over again before he finally taps out and says he’s leaving.
You are telling me that Doctor Strange couldn’t go back in time about 11 minutes and tell Star-Lord ‘hey, Thanos killed Gamora. I’m really sorry buddy. Just get all the emotions out of your system now because we have this master plan to take his Infinity Gauntlet off and we need you to not ruin it’. Done. Thanos is defeated.
But nope, Strange had to be a suicidal weirdo.
I hate Star-Lord and Doctor Strange now and nothing can change my mind (until Avengers 4 when they come back and save the day and I’m smiling ear-to-ear)
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee with who you think fucked up more in Infinity War. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.