In season 7, Cersei spent that sweet sweet Lannister cash to purchase the greatest army in Essos. The Golden Company is a legendary fleet and the best soldiers that money can buy. In season 4, Davos attempted to convince Stannis to hire The Golden Company. He did not. Now he’s dead. Damn.

Oh, the Golden Company also rides elephants into battle which is the most badass shit of all time. Daenerys can have her wack dragons. Give me all of the elephants you have. Sure, they lost half their army attempting to bring back all of the Tyrell’s gold from Highgarden because the aforementioned dragons swooped in and burnt everything to the ground but if Jaime had some elephants on his side, that would have been an even fight. Maybe.

Cersei sent Euron on a mission to use his infamous Greyjoy navy to bring the Golden Company to King’s Landing and in exchange, she’d make him king or at least that’s what Euron convinced himself.

Fast forward to this season and something is missing…

Excuse me? Harry Strickland made his Game of Thrones debut and came in empty handed. You can have the biggest army of the most skilled fighters ever.


You had ONE fucking job. Bring the elephants. I don’t care if they can’t fit on the ships. Build bigger ships. In the Season 8 premiere, we see Theon save Yara and ride out with a fleet of his own ships. No idea how the Greyjoys do it but apparently they can build massive ships in like 4 hours.

There is no excuse for Euron to not put together the proper vessel to transport elephants. This is unacceptable.

I’m not as easy going/horny as Cersei. If you promise me elephants and don’t deliver elephants, you don’t get to hump. Part of me is disappointed that the same Cersei that blew up the Sept has suddenly become so lenient but at the same time, this is also an incredibly lonely woman who is drunk 24/7.

Nothing that happens for the remainder of this show matters. They blew it episode 1. Fuck the White Walkers and Aegon Targaryen and The Night King. Nope. You promised me elephants and I don’t see a single fucking Elephant.

Game of Thrones sucks.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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