new york giants

What The Fuck Are The New York Giants Fucking Doing?

What the fuck is happening right now? I’m hurt, shook, appalled, frightenend, overwhelmed, angry, flabbergasted, bewildered, tramatized and generally confused what just happened. What just happened?

Dave Gettleman walked into my life a year ago and has been punching me directly in the dick every single day. He’s like an alcoholic stepdad that moves in, abuses my mom and smashes my Sega Genesis after he gets laid off from work and drinks himself into a rage.

Just one year ago, the New York Giants had Odell Beckham, Landon Collins, Olivier Vernon, Snacks Harrison, Jason Pierre-Paul and the No. 2 overall draft pick. The sky was the limit.

All of those players are gone and the No. 2 overall draft pick was used on Saquon Barkley instead of a replacement for the worst quarterback in the NFL.

Fast forward to present day and Dave Gettleman has removed literally every single star player from this roster and the last man standing is Eli fucking Manning.

What is the plan here?

Why did you sign Odell Beckham to a massive extension only to trade him the following season? Why did you keep saying that you didn’t sign Odell to trade him just to fucking trade him to the Cleveland Browns for the No. 17 pick and fucking Jabril Peppers I mean shit, YOU DIDNT NEED JABRIL PEPPERS IF YOU JUST RE-SIGNED LANDON COLLINS WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW?

*takes deep breath*

Okay, let’s look ahead before I smash my keyboard into dust. The New York Giants now have the No. 6 pick and the No. 17 pick next month. What if Gettleman plans to use those two picks in a package to trade up for Dwayne Haskins or Kyler Murray?

BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO DRAFT A ROOKIE QB THEN WHY WOULDN’T YOU KEEP THE BEST WIDE RECEIVER IN THE LEAGUE FOR THAT ROOKIE QB TO THROW TO? WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE GIANTS DOING?

Every single naive brainwashed Giants fan who thinks Eli Manning would be a great quarterback if he only had the perfect offensive line and was surrounded by offensive weapons, please explain to me how putting a rookie QB in an even worse environment then Eli has been in actually leads to wins and quarterback development?

Who does this trade make better besides the Cleveland Browns? I am now 1000% confident that Dave Gettleman is a sabetour who has dedicated his life to destroying the New York Giants and he’s doing an outstanding job completing his mission. Who hired you, Gettleman? Tom Coughlin? Jim Fassell? Geno Smith? Bill Belichick?????

Can’t wait for Dave Gettleman to use those two first round draft picks to select two running backs. By the time I finish typing this, Eli Manning is going to be offered a 10-year contract extension.

Odell Beckham pushed a kicking net once. There was a photo of him maybe doing coke with some model a couple of summers ago but it didn’t matter because he’s never failed a drug test. Never been in any criminal trouble. Has zero drama off the field. None of that shit mattered.

All he’s ever done is passionately wanted to win football games and be compensated appropriately for it. He was straight up the best quarterback on the roster last season.

And he’s gone. And Eli Manning is still here. And I’m dead. What the fuck.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think the New York Giants have no plan and Dave Gettleman is a terrorist. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Follow on Instagram so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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