Elizabeth Holmes

We Need To Talk About The Elephant in the Room With This Whole Elizabeth Holmes Theranos Scandal

Earlier this week, HBO premiered The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley, a documentary about Elizabeth Holmes, a crazy-eyed hopelessly optomistic sociopath who attempted to revolutionize the healthcare industry but instead, turned into a scamming snake oil salesman who refused to just admit that she had no idea what the fuck she was even doing.

Unlike Billy McFarland, the guy who scammed investors out of millions upon millions of dollars to host a music festival that he seemed to know almost immediately how impossible his plans were but continued to scam more and more, Elizabeth Holmes is a different breed of cat.

Billy McFarland was a typical white 20-something entitled fraternity douche. There are thousands of Billy McFarland’s running around Manhattan right now attempting to sell you a $3,000 a month studio apartment with 6 other roommates and no running water.

Elizabeth Holmes was a 19-year old college drop out who was not only a woman intruding upon a male dominated Silicon Valley but a female CEO in both tech AND biochemstry. Safe to say, she had to do a lot of convincing to get into these men’s pockets for start up money.

Sooo, we have to address the elephant in the room here…

No no, I don’t mean her fake voice, although that was weird as shit. From the moment she opens her mouth in that documentary, you could tell she was creating a persona for herself. No one just sounds like that witness protection voice morpher.

But her voice is definitely a factor in all of this. So is her black turtle neck Steve Jobs cosplay outfits. It is extraordinarily clear that Elizabeth Holmes was projecting an idea of herself that was phony.

It’s so transparant that it’s borderline comical how silly she is. Her fake deep voice is the same voice that female comedians use when they want to mock their husbands for not taking out the garbage or whatever. I’ve for sure heard Chelsea Handler hit that exact baritone note.

So if I can easily recognize the scam, how did so many people fall for her nonsense?

This is about to be a bit of a tight rope for me so hang in there.

At the beginning of the doc, we see Holmes seek counsel from Dr. Phyllis Gardner, a Stanford medical school professor. Gardner was the first (and seemingly only) person to straight up tell Holmes that the Theranos box she was trying to create was quite literally impossible.

The technology didn’t exist yet and the mechanism required to operate the blood testing were far too large to fit into the handheld box that Holmes was attempting to trick investors into believing.

After Elizabeth refused to take no for an answer so surrounded herself with powerful people like Oracle founder Larry Ellison, former Secretary of Defense James Mattis and former Secretary of State George Schultz.

Schultz believed in this woman so deeply that he trusted her over his own grandson who had worked there for a few years and was a whistleblower that revealed Theranos’s reported blood testing capabilities were all lies.

The company president, Ramesh “Sunny” Balwani, was almost 20 years older than Holmes and they appeared to be ‘dating’ for, whatever that’s worth.

Do you see the picture I’m painting here or did I fall off the tight rope into a vat of toxic masculinity?

It would appear as though these old men who spoke so glowingly about Elizabeth Holmes in that documentary and who continued to believe her even though she never revealed any actual details or what her product was doing, were influenced by more than just the idea of changing the way people get their blood work done.

Now, I want to make it very clear that I am not in any way attempting to say that she was throwing that vulva around at these dudes.

If anything, I guess I’m trying to point out that Holmes changed her voice so that she can be respected amongst her male peers and have the same chance to succeed as the men. We all get that.

But in actuality, by removing her sexuality she was able to get men to almost blindly follow her by masking herself as one of them while simultaneously flirting thus stimulating these men’s false sense of morality by giving a girl an opportunity without wanting to fuck her even though they definitely wanted to fuck her.

Elizabeth Holmes’s rise in Silicon Valley looked to be an example of change in our society. Women can be just as successful as men in technology. Personally, I still believe that to be true and I’d like to believe I live in a world where most people agree with me.

The problem with Holmes is that all of her support and praise came from the same old ass men who grew up in a society where women were seen not heard and these same old ass men are currently seeing all of their old ass peers get in trouble for not catching up with the times and continuing to treat women like Orchids of Asia employees so Holmes worked as their shield to say ‘see, I support this intelligent woman’, knowing damn well that if she had a high pitched voice and dressed, ya know, normally, they’d tried to touch her boobs and ignore her ideas.

But instead, they sat there and pretended to listen to her garbage while they tried to figure out why they were horny for this woman who didn’t blink and looked like she slept on a bed of stray cats.

That was so many run-on sentences.

The elephant in the room is that all of these old dudes wanted to bang her but because she didn’t purport herself as sexual, they were able to support her mindlessly and without horny guilt and they can go home to their wives and say they spent the day with another woman and it would be totally fine even though Holmes LITERALLY MADE A DUDE KILL HIMSELF.

Elizabeth Holmes is an evil genius.

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you can’t get Elizabeth Holmes’s fake voice out of your head. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Follow on Instagram so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.


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