carlos correa

We Need To Talk About Carlos Correa Breaking a Rib During a ‘Massage’

Sooo Houston Astros star shortstop could miss up to 6 weeks with a mysterious fractured rib out of nowhere. It is now being brought to light that Correa suffered this injury from a massage at his home.

Okaaaaay.

Robert Kraft was arrested leaving a $40 rub and tug joint a couple of months ago which shed to light a very important lesson that we all need to be aware of: sometimes Happy Endings go wrong.

The Houston Astros played the Chicago Cubs at 7pm last night. It was a 3 hour game which means Carlos Correa couldn’t have gotten home before 11pm.

Correa says this massage happened at his house which means he called someone over at like, midnight.

I once dated a massage therapist. No seriously, I swear I’ve dated girls before, believe it or not.

ANYWAY, her workday ended around 6pm (which was a huge sigh of relief that she wasn’t jerking dudes off all day) so let’s just say whoever arrived at Correa’s front door at 12am on a random ass Tuesday night wasn’t an Astros team employee.

So let’s also get into the possible broken rib from a call girl.

Obviously Correa is a wild boy and this wasn’t your standard massage for 100 roses. No no no, there’s a solid chance there was a whip and some leather involved.

Carlos Correa is batting .295 with 11 homers and 35 RBIs.

He also broke his rib because he for sure paid for a crazy happy ending massage and his horny levels reached a point where he was asking this poor woman to tied his ass up or whatever.

I don’t want to turn this into a pegging conversation but yea, damn. I’m shocked he only broke the one rib. Someone’s eyes were bigger than their stomach, if you know what I mean.

Everyone be safe out there. Control yourselves.


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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