We Need To Have a Serious Discussion About The Phoenix Suns Lining Up One-By-One To Get The Gluck Gluck From The Same Girl

All of the words I’m about to type is nonsense but walk with me. We’ll get through this together. Celina Powell is an Instagram model who is also a sex worker that is known for sleeping with a bunch of rappers which I suppose is a good way to get your visibility up. Can’t sell the product if people can’t find the product.

Adam22 is a sociopath who hosts the No Jumper podcast where he interviews Soundcloud rappers and pretends to be a teenager with them. He’s like VladTV but instead of pressuring old rappers to brag about their pending legal cases, Adam22 just wants to hear kids talk about being under the influence and doing the sex. He’s almost 40 years old.

So naturally, Celina Powell and Adam22 hang frequently and in her newest appearance on No Jumper, Celina brought her buddy Aliza to the studio where she told a lovely story about her birthday Weekend with a basketball team.

So let’s try to recap Aliza’s cute little night with the boys. She was in a hotel with a guy who works for the team. Then 7 players on the team busted into the room and circled the bed. Aliza then proceeded to blow each team member one-by-one, swallowing each load before beginning to satisfy the next gentleman.

There’s a lot going on in this one minute clip. First, the internet has already discovered that it was the Phoenix Suns that Pornhubbed this girl so we won’t pretend like it’s a mystery as she is attempting to.

Let’s start with the Phoenix Suns perspective. I get you shower with these guys. You’re traveling all year with them. You’re close. I cannot imagine performing with 6 of my coworkers all standing shoulder to shoulder with me as there is a clearly drunk girl who was in the middle of being penetrated by another coworker. I’ll see you guys later. Text me when you finish. I’m going to go do literally anything else.

It’s never great when Adam22 is the voice of concern in the room as he’s bringing up very important questions like ‘were you too fucked up for this?’ and ‘do you look back at the night fondly?’. But no need to wonder if she was taken advantage of. It was lit. We good.

We’re going to ignore his question about how she felt after swallowing all that jizz. Her stomach was fine, man. She didn’t need it pumped. That’s not a real thing. Or maybe is it a real thing but Aliza is built different.

Not to end the fun of this story but the part that makes me a bit unsettled is when Celina Powell jumps in and says that she’s ‘so shy’. You can tell their relationship involves a lot of interesting nights like this and I get the feeling Celina makes Aliza do things that she’s not totally comfortable with.

Do you think she confidently tells this story to people when she’s not sitting next to homegirl in front of Adamfucking22? Now, it’s totally cool if she does. Dear every girl, suck all the wee wee you need. Don’t let anyone shame you out of that sweet delicious semen. Do your thing.

But there’s just something about this whole environment that doesn’t seem so…lit. This entire story sounds suuuuper rapey and her comfortability makes it clear that she’s experienced so many of these rapey nights that it’s just normalized behavior especially when her bestie is out here cheering her on.

Again, if that’s how you move in these streets then go off. I like watching the Yankees. Some people like being smothered in balls. We don’t sex shame here at Deadseriousness. But when you factor in how intoxicated she alludes to being when it happened, the fact that the Suns just walked in on her while she was already having sex with someone else and just invited themselves into it and her friends who not only encourage her actions but say things like ‘she’s so shy’ as if to sort of make her feel bad for not being as openly sexual as they are so she needs to like, prove that she is.

All I know is that the Phoenix Suns went 8-0 in the Orlando bubble and it’s team building exercises like running a layup line in a drunk girl’s esophagus is how you win games in this league. Need the New York Knicks to take notes. Julius Randle, stay home.


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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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