We Need To Have A Conversation About Patrick Mahomes’s Girlfriend

Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the NFL. He throws a far better and more consistent deep ball than Lamar Jackson and he wins Conference Championship games unlike Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers.

Lamar had the best regular season but that’s simply because Mahomes allowed him to. He suffered an ankle injury and dislocated his knee so that Jackson could get his little MVP award but Mahomes is still the best in the game.

On Sunday, Mahomes dogwalked the Titans defense on his march to the Super Bowl. He was 23-for-35 with 294 yards and three touchdowns with no picks and a 120.4 passer rating.

Let’s take a look at his 2020 playoff performances:

Mad decent.

Patrick Mahomes has thrown 76 touchdowns in the last two seasons. There is nothing he can’t do with the ball in his hands. No-look passes, passing with his left hand. Scrambling for positive yardage.

The only real critique you can make of Mahomes is that he’s hanging out with the wrong crowd. He doesn’t surround himself with the best people.

Enter Brittany Matthews.

Meet Patrick Mahomes girlfriend, Brittany, whose name you could’ve guessed was Brittany just by watching this 7 second clip with the sound off.

Mahomes met this very literal ball and chain when the two went to high school together in Texas. Aw. The two went to separate colleges as one persued a football career and the other played soccer. I’m not sure why I wrote that previous sentence that way like you had to guess which one was the football player but I’m not backspacing it. One take Jake.

Anyway, after having a pretty lowkey relationship up to this point, the most Brittany of all Brittany’s, has flooded my timeline with her excitement for her bae’s performance. Where was this energy when he won the MVP last season?

Before I go any further, I have no problem with Queen of the Brittany’s being hyped for her man to march into the playoffs. That first clip came after the Chiefs went down 24-0 and stormed back to win 51-31 against the Houston Texans in the Divisional Round. It was the greatest comeback in NFL history.

Every single fan at Hunts Field was probably reacting the same way. She added a little spice to her video and appeared a tad under the influence with her face moving in 19 different directions with a voice that could shatter thin glass but she was proud of Pat. That’s fair.

She brought that same enthusiasm on Sunday afternoon and the Internet had enough of her shit as she was roasted all day long and will most likely be roasted for the next two weeks and throughout the entire Super Bowl.

Let’s relax a bit. Yes, she seems annoying as hell and I prefer a little more composure in a mate but she should be allowed to enjoy her moment.

*whispers* do we really believe Mahomes is going to be with this girl in a few years? He’s about to be the biggest star in the league now that Tom Brady is washed and Aaron Rodgers is *watches NFC Championship game highlights* also washed.

I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing Brittany Matthews in a few years so let her get her shit off. I don’t live in a world where I tell fans how to celebrate their success.

Sure, she looks like she bites. She looks like a girl who was on a season of The Flavor of Love pretending to want to bang Flava Flav for her 15 minutes of 2003 VH1 fame. She looks like she’d get mad at you for watching porn but not just for watching porn but for watching Kendra Lust videos because she’s a brunette. “You could at least watch a blonde, PATRICK. Is she what you really want? I’ll go dye my hair and get implants just for you. You’re such an asshole, Patrick”.

She looks like she goes entire weeks only consuming carrot sticks and red wine but she’ll always complain about being hungry while refusing to actually eat meals. She looks like her breath smells. She looks like she still watches Nickelodeon regularly.

But let’s stop attacking her online.

Quick rule of thumb: you ever want to be on Twitter making fun of the same people as guys with ‘Barstool’ in their Twitter handle. Might get a concussion slamming your head into that low hanging fruit.

Brittany Matthews kind of sucks. We can all agree on that. But she’s also having the time of her life and if I’m about to win the Super Bowl, my girlfriend better be pissing everyone off online too.




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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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