We Must Prevent The San Antonio Spurs From Making The Playoffs

The Board of Governors has approved the NBA’s proposal of a 22-team continuation of the 2019-2020 season to begin on July 31st. All 22 teams will be kept in Orlando for the next few months to crown a champion. And somehow after a wildly mediocre and irrelevant season, the San Antonio Spurs sneak in and have the opportunity to make their 23rd consecutive postseason. Vomit emoji.

The Gregg Popovich-led San Antonio Spurs have always played with a sound set of fundament—oh my god BOOORING.

Their style of play is boring. Their players are always boring. They had one interesting player when Dennis Rodman was on the team in 1994 and they immediately shipped him off to Chicago because he didn’t fit their mold of beige bland nothingness.

Their black and white jerseys are plain as shit. I promise you no one has ever bought an NBA ticket to go see DeMar DeRozan or LaMarcus Aldridge play basketball. Never in the history of history yet somehow both of these old school lame mid-range shooters have found their way onto a Spurs roster that deserves to be watching the playoffs from home like the rest of us.

There is so much going on in the world right now. A month ago I would’ve watched any basketball but now the NBA’s return sort of feels like an odd distraction from what we need to be focusing on. There is no easier way for me to ignore this league than with an unnecessary Lakers vs. Spurs first-round matchup.

Plus, you have to remember we’re playing in an empty quiet gym with no fans. Just raw uncut possessions of LaMarcus Aldridge backing down his defender at the top of the key for 23 seconds before hoisting up a contested mid-range jumper. Over. And over. And over again.

The Spurs are currently 27-36 and sit 12th in the Western Conference which is just gross. If we’re so concerned about Coronavirus then why invite so many teams. Do we really need to give the Spurs 8 more regular season games to squeeze into the postseason after 63 games where they showed how terrible they are? At this point, they might as well have brought every time in. Go knicks.

Now if you’re a Spurs fan, not sure why you’re reading Deadseriousness but Welcome. BUT, you can make the argument that injuries derailed your season and with the time off, guys like Lonnie Walker and Jakob Poeltl will be 100% healthy and ready to set the most correct off-ball screens.

Fortunately, the Spurs are 3.5 back from the 8th seed Memphis and even with the new proposal that will create an 8 vs. 9 seed play-in game, the Spurs would have a very short window to leapfrog Portland, Sacramento and New Orleans.

At the same time, if there’s anyone who can do it, it’s that wino Gregg Popovich.

If the Spurs make the playoffs, we must boycott their inevitable 4 game sweep as LeBron lazily does what he does best: sweep DeMar DeRozan the fuck out of the here.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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