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Watch The New Venom Trailer and Allow the Amazing Cast To Distract You From How Bad This Movie is Going To Be

Let’s focus on the positives here.

The cast is absolute fire emoji. Tom Hardy is a great place to start. Tom Hardy should be in every movie ever made. I just rewatched Point Break the other day. There’s no reason why Tom Hardy isn’t in Patrick Swayze’s crew playing football on the beach against Johnny Utah. Digitally edit that shit in.

Michelle Williams is a Top 5 actor in the game right now. Not even sure why she agreed to be in this Spider-Man movie that doesn’t even have Spider-Man in it but I image that paycheck was singing to her. Cash Rules Everything Around Me. I might see this movie just for her alone.

Riz Ahmed and Woody Harrelson will also both be in Venom playing villains. They will most likely have the same symbiote powers as Venom which I guess is the law when it comes to comic book origin movies.

As far as the actual movie goes, Sony superheroes movies have only been trash. Can’t imagine why they would magically figure out the formula after two decades of failure.

I don’t even understand why Tom Hardy is killing people in this movie? I get that the symbiote brings that out of him but nothing in the trailer explains why this regular ass reporter would suddenly turn into a serial killer with no real resistance.

The biggest problem is Venom, which is not great for a Venom movie. You should probably have the titular character figured out. Uh, is that what his voice is going to sound like the whole time? Is Tom Hardy contractually obligated to sound like an asshole in every role?

I shouldn’t have to pause the trailer and turn the volume all the way up to still not be able to discern any of the main character’s words. Like, I know Venom talks quite a bit in that trailer because I can see his mouth is moving buuuut I have no idea what he says at any point. Fix that shit.

When this movie drops, someone please just send me the Michelle Williams cut.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re hyped for Venom so I can try to understand why. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by Deadseriousness

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