Walmart is Removing Cosmo Magazine From The Checkout Lanes Because They’re ‘Too Sexual’

The conservative organization The National Center on Sexual Exploitation has won a victory against Cosmopolitan, lobbying successfully for the sex-positive magazine to be removed from the checkout aisles of 5,000 stores nationwide. Although the magazine will still be available in the periodical section of the store, this means that one won’t accidentally stumble upon “tips to please your man” while popping into the store for unrelated purchases.

The organization was founded in the 1960s as Morality in Media, and claims that their work is “to defend human dignity and to oppose sexual exploitation.” According to their website:

“Families and individuals will no longer be automatically exposed to Cosmo’s hypersexualized and degrading article titles that regularly promote pornography, sexting, BDSM, group sex, anal sex, and more, all while marketing toward young teens with Disney star cover models.”



Walmart is doing the decent thing and removing Cosmo magazine from the checkout lane so that we will no longer be exposed to ‘How To Please Your Man When You’re on Your Period’ articles. Thank you, Walmart.

But real quick, WALMART STILL SELLS FUCKING GUNS. But I’m glad the priority here is to stop a magazine from giving women beauty tips because they are too sexual and they make women feel bad about themselves or whatever.

No one buys magazines.

I haven’t looked at a magazine in a checkout counter since like, 2004. Isn’t Cosmo magazine written by women for women? It’s not like Maxim magazine that has hot chicks on the cover exclusively as jerk off material. I’d say those are a little too sexual. I’m pretty sure Cosmo is tongue in cheek with their sex tips.


But that doesn’t matter. The reason why there are school shootings is because teenagers get occasional glances at ‘anal tips’ while they purchase Bud Light with their fake IDs on the weekends.

[wipes hands clean] Problem solved.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Walmart is the worst place on Earth. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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