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Wait Does Pat Shurmur Actually Suck?

The New York Giants lost to the Dallas Cowboys 13-20 on Sunday Night Football. In a nationally televised game, the Giants embarrassed me. I’m sick. There are a million problems with this team and last season we were all able to simply point the finger at injuries and Ben McAdoo.

Wellll, everyone on offense is healthy and Ben McAdoo is long gone.

So why are the Giants still the worst team in the NFL? Sure, Eli was 33-44 with 279 yards and a touchdown but all of those completions were checkdown passes to Saquon Barkley as he frantically avoided the Cowboys pass rush.

Eli was sacked six times. The team ran for 35 rushing yards. The offensive line needn’t have bothered showing up to the arena. Literally the same exact problems that this team faced last season.

Wait, does Pat Shurmur suck?

Here’s what Eli had to say about the new offense:

“When you got new players and you got new schemes and coaches, sometimes it can take a little time, especially the first game on the road, it can take a little bit to get your rhythm, get things going,”

Uh, the fuck were you doing all training camp? You’re still figuring out new schemes? Weird, considering there doesn’t seem to be an actual playbook outside of dump the ball off to Saquon Barkley and hope he breaks a huge run.

The Dallas Cowboys game plan was to blitz the weak offensive line and the Giants made zero adjustments. Hey Pat, you want to fucking coach this team orrrrr?….

Instead of having Barkley leak out for 2-yard gains, maybe, and this is going to sound crazy, MAYBE keep the running back in the backfield to pass block the nonstop pass rush so that Eli has time to find Odell down the field.

To constantly face a blitz and not add additional protection is bad and dumb and bad. It’s almost as if Shurmur is intentionally trying to murder Eli so he can replace him which is strange considering that the Giants decided not to sign and keep an actual NFL backup behind him.

1st down: run for -1 yards.

2nd down: run for 3 yards.

3rd down: Dump the ball off to Saquon for a 2-yard gain.

4th down: punt.


Do this over and over again and never change the playcalling.

Does Pat Shurmur suck?

Pat Shurmur was the offensive coordinator for the Minnesota Vikings last season and he made Case Keenum and Sam Bradford look like All-Stars. Either the success of the Keenum had nothing to do with Pat Shurmur or Eli Manning is worse than Case Keenum.

Oh god, I don’t want to even consider either option.

I think what we’re looking at is the perfect combination of an overrated head coach and a quarterback that should be watching NFL games at home like the rest of us. Fortunately, the Giants are on pace to get the No. 1 draft pick and replace Eli next summer.

Can’t wait.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Pat Shurmur is trash. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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