Uncovering the Conspiracy Behind Geno Smith and The New York Jets

Let’s start with the facts. New York Jets starting quarterback, Geno Smith, was ‘sucker’ punched by third string linebacker, I.K. Enemkpali, breaking his jaw and causing him to miss 6-10 weeks. On the surface, sure, you can say this happens all the time. Locker room altercations during NFL training camp have become tradition.

But something doesn’t smell right about this situation. You don’t hit your starting quarterback. You know how many times a back up linebacker punched Jon Elway in the face? Zero times. Who even is IK Enemkpali?

Ikemefuna Enemkpali is a 2014 6th round draft pick from Louisiana Tech. He was probably going to get cut from the team regardless of whether or not he rocked Geno. There’s no reason why these two men should ever be interacting. There is no doubt in my dome that I.K. was paid off. But by whom?

It’s easy to point to finger at the New England Patriots. They cheat. It’s what you do when you want to win championships. As a Giants fan, I wouldn’t mind if they cut some corners to bring home more chips. With Tom Brady out for the first 4 games, perhaps the Patriots are leveling the playing field. But they’re the easy source. Too easy.

Who’s next in line to start? Ryan Fitzpatrick. The Amish Rifle. The Harvard Hurricane. The Ivy League Enigma. He came to the Jets to start 16 games, not hold a clipboard and rub Geno Smith’s back on the sidelines after he throws interceptions. But he’s too smart to get caught crafting schemes. He’s too confident. He’s in practice everyday watching Geno get sacked so I think he knew he’d be starting regardless of whether or not Geno’s face needed reconstructive surgery.

New head coach, Todd Bowles, inherited a football team who had the most inefficient quarterback in the league last year. Perhaps in desperation, he pulled Enemkpali aside and asked for a favor. Am I saying this is an inside job? Bitch, I might be. If Todd Bowles did this then who knows how high up this goes. Is the owner involved? Is the mayor involved? Obama? I’m pretty sure Bowles didn’t even know IK Enemkpali was even on the roster so I doubt he hired him to derail the Jets season.

So whodunnit?

Rex Grossman. You son of a bitch. The old gunslinger has more ammo to load in the cannon and saw an opportunity to strike. You wily vet. He probably planted Enemkpali in the Jets organization in 2014 and has been waiting for this moment. The long con. Untraceable. Rex Grossman, you son of a bitch.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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