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Tyler Austin Tripping Over Himself After Hitting a Home Run Is Exactly Why The New York Yankees Traded Him Away

The New York Yankees are the classiest franchise in all of sports. They are the gold standard of excellence. Teams around the world look up to the Yankees and aspire to have their decades of sustained success.

You know how you maintain this high bar of brilliance? You get rid of guys who can’t jog around first base.

Tyler Austin has 16 homers and 40 RBIs and half of those homers came since arriving in Minnesota. After being Greg Bird’s backup for the past two seasons, it appears as though Austin has potentially found a home DHing for the Twins.

But the Yankees can’t afford to have Austin tripping all over himself in pinstripes. It’s bad for the brand. That’s why the team decided to stick with Bird instead of him. Because they know that Greg Bird can’t hit home runs so he’ll never have the opportunity to trip over any of the basepads.

Yankees playing chess while everyone is playing checkers.

Have fun with Austin, Minnesota. I’ll take Luke Voit bench pressing Volkswagens with just one arm while Greg Bird spits sunflower seeds out in the dugout and you can have Tyler Austin figuring out how to ties his shoes and count by two’s.

tyler austin

#NeverForget.

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Tyler Austin might be a little…slow. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

Deadseriousness

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