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Turns Out Aziz Ansari is Actually His ‘Character’ Randy AKA a Creepy Motherfucker

Golden Globe winning actor and comedian Aziz Ansari has been accused of “sexual assault” by a 23-year-old photographer from Brooklyn kept anonymous for her safety. Speaking to Babe, the woman recounts a date she had with the comedian that, she says, became the “worst experience with a man I’ve ever had.” Babe corroborated her story by also talking to the woman’s friends about the incident, as well as obtaining photos and texts between Ansari and the woman.

According to the photographer, she first met Ansari at the 2017 Emmy Awards after-party, where they bonded over using the same film camera. They exchanged numbers, and then set up a time to meet again. The photographer recounts that during their date, Ansari seemed eager to get back to his apartment: “When the waiter came over he quickly asked for the check and he said like, ‘Let’s get off this boat…’ Like, he got the check and then it was bada-boom, bada-bing, we’re out of there.”

The two later ended up at his apartment, where, the woman recounts, things escalated very quickly and she soon became uncomfortable with the situation.

“In a second, his hand was on my breast,” she recounts. “The move he kept doing was taking his two fingers in a V-shape and putting them in my mouth, in my throat to wet his fingers, because the moment he’d stick his fingers in my throat he’d go straight for my vagina and try to finger me. He probably moved my hand to his dick five to seven times…He really kept doing it after I moved it away. It was 30 minutes of me getting up and moving and him following and sticking his fingers down my throat again. It was really repetitive. It felt like a fucking game.”

(Fader)

Well shit. I really thought Randy was a hilarious character that Aziz Ansari made up but nope. Turns out it’s his true persona. Mask off. Aziz likes his women the way the monster in It likes his victims, terrified. Noooot a great look for the host of Cupcake Wars.

I can’t ignore his go-to move here. My guy. Randy. My dude. You can’t be out here shoving your fingers into chick’s move before you finger them. This is how you know that the person you’re currently hooking up with had weird ass sex with their ex. When they start doing weird shit with total confindence that you can’t imagine anyone liking, you know that their ex was suuuper into it. One time a girl very confidently tried to put a thumb in my butt and I knew right away that her ex liked sitting on fingers.

Anyway yea, let’s say you do that finger in their mouth move. Do that one time. Max. You cannot keep shoving your fingers down a chick’s throat as she is slowly reaching for the front door trying to escape your torture chamber. Read the room.

RAAAAANDY.

But let’s not lump this is with Louis CK constantly taking his dick out around women or Kevin Spacey who would not stop groping teenage boys. Sure, what Aziz did here was creepy and sexual assault adjacent. But it seems like an isolated incedent where an entiltled star assumed that a woman was down to bang because she was nice to him. Harvey Weinstein straight up raped chicks and ended their careers. Aziz Ansari is just Randy.

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Leave a comment if you knew Aziz Ansari was a creep since day one. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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