Homeless Man Arrested For Going Down on a Random Woman on the Boardwalk With His Dick Out

A man spotted yesterday afternoon performing oral sex on a woman lying down on a Florida beach boardwalk told cops that he was an “emergency responder and had to assist the female as it was his duty,” according to a criminal complaint.

A Treasure Island Police Department officer found Tracy Briley, 50, with his shorts at his ankles and “penis out in plain view” around 1 PM Wednesday. Briley, the cop noted, “was performing cunnilingus on a female subject laying on the beach boardwalk.”

Briley, seen at right, told the officer that he was homeless and “had nowhere else to have sex except in public.”

A witness told police that he (and his three-year-old grandson) “observed the act of cunnilingus.”

When Officer Zakariah Dorman arrived on the boardwalk, Briley’s companion–who is not identified in the complaint–was clothed. SShe was subsequently transported to a local hospital “reference to a medical issue.”

(Smoking Gun)


I’m a firm believer that you got to get it in when you can. Whether you’re in the privacy of your own home or if you don’t have a home and need to get down on the beach boardwalk, you got to get it in when you can. When the mood strikes you to just go down and start reciting the alphabet, you have to do it. Can’t fight nature.

It wasn’t specified so I’d like to assume he just found the random woman laying there and decided to give her a little treat. Tracy Briley was just being a good samaritan here. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Go down on everyone.

You also have to love the ol’ ‘first responder’ defense. Thank god, Briley was on the scene to save this woman’s life. Hopefully, this man gets the keys to the city.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Tracy Briley is a hero. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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