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Tony Stewart Is Engaged To a Playboy Playmate (Don’t Forget He Murdered Someone in a NASCAR Race)

OMG she said yes!!! I’m sooo happy for Tony Stewart and Pennelope Jimenez, whose name has too many ‘N’s’ in it. This would be such an inappropriate time to bring up the fact that he ran over another racer in the middle of a race and faced zero consequences.

I don’t want to be super messy but I also don’t want a day to go by where people forget that Tony Stewart saw Kevin Ward on the racing track screaming at him and instead of getting out of the way, which he had plenty of time to do, he decided to graze him with a tire just to be a dick, ya know, as if he wasn’t driving 200 mph.

But yes, I am soo happy that he is engaged to a model. He truly deserves it. Again, Stewart faced zero consequences and was suspended a race and a lot of NASCAR fans said that it is was Kevin Ward’s fault for being on the track and yea duh, you probably shouldn’t stand on the edge of a race track but at the same time, you also shouldn’t RUN PEOPLE OVER.

I’m not the biggest NASCAR fan but growing up my favorite drivers were Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson for no reason other than the fact that they weren’t murderers. Tony Stewart however: know killer.

But again, congrats on the engagement. I really hope you and Pennelope with too many’ N’s in her name don’t get into a heated argument on a freeway because I’d hate to write an article in a year about how she was run over by Stewart but it’s her fault for being near his tire or some shit.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Tony Stewart is probably a bad person. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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