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21 Thoughts After Watching The Wonder Woman 1984 Trailer

 

  1. First, totally forget this movie was coming and honestly, totally forgot the movie industry was a thing.
  2. Like, remember going to see movies? Yea, neither do I. Can’t wait to sit in a dirty cold room for three hours watching slow motion action sequences. Worth the lifelong heart condition I’ll develop from the Covid I’m catching there.
  3. Okay, enough super fun Coronavirus talk. Let’s start the trailer andddd we have more flashbacks to baby Diana. This technically Wonder Woman’s 4th movie including Batman V Superman and Justice League. We understand her motivations as a hero without seeing more childhood training.
  4. But if we get Robin Wright and the love of my life Connie Neilson back then so be it. Flashback me to death.
  5. Oh, we’ve got Wonder Woman swinging from her lasso off lightning bolts. I love the creative elementary school kids that make DC movies.
  6. Maxwell Lord is a potentially very fascinating villain. He’s a rich kid who runs Brother Eye, an AI that can track metahumans on across the globe with the ability to create metahumans so you can assume Kristen Wiig’s Cheetah character gets her powers from Lord.
  7. He also has mind control powers sometimes. Comics are dumb and characters just gain and lose things based on whoever is writing the series currently like, sometimes Wonder Woman can fly and sometimes she needs her invisible jet and I have no idea which one is canon at this point.
  8. Also as far as Maxwell Lord’s relationship with Wonder Woman directly, one time Lord used his mind control powers to make Wonder Woman snap his neck on live TV which didn’t go great for Princess Diana. Sometimes bad press is just bad press.
  9. Not entirely sure why Chris Pine is back. I promise you it’s possible to tell literally any story without making it about interpersonal romantic conquests. Batman, which I’ll get to later hopefully, does not need Catwoman randomly thrown in to flirt with him. Just like, guys, go fight crime.
  10. “I want to be an Apex predator” what a normal thing for a woman to say.
  11. I like Kristen Wiig. She’s cool or whatever and for sure has the ability to play a villain in a movie like this. But not Cheetah.
  12. Kristen Wiig is almost 50 fucking years old and she’s supposed to be physically capable of fighting a Wonder Woman that we just saw in the previous movie literally end World War I? Diana kicked a tank in. Kristen Wiig should not be fist fighting Wonder Woman.
  13. I’ve always thought Cheetah represents all of Wonder Woman’s brutal warlike instincts. All of her rage and violence is embodied in her rivalry with Cheetah. Just straight primitive lizard brain carnage.
  14. Maybe cast a woman that’s, I mean, young? Athletic? Not Kristin Wiig?
  15. I’m also talking about a woman who turns into a Cheetah so, ya know, whatever.
  16. I reallyyyy hope it’s just an effect for the trailer and these action sequences aren’t all in slow mo for no reason.
  17. Last movie it was fish out of water because Diana had never left Themyscira and that was funny, right? Well now Chris Pine is the fish out of water because he DIED in the 1910’s and now jets have radars. Lololol.
  18. I am totally okay with the end result of Cheetah looking that terrible if she is on screen with Wonder Woman in that all gold gear. That shit’s tooooough. I’d wear that to the grocery store.
  19. Oh so we’re really doing the fish out of water jokes, huh? Okay. It’s better than Zack Snyder’s version where everything is gray and everyone is mad at the idea of humor.
  20. This probably won’t be as good as the first Wonder Woman but the bar is so low for these DC movies that at this point, it just needs to be at least two hours long and it’s a success story.
  21. Seriously, Kristen Wiig shouldn’t be in this.

 

 

 

 


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Deadseriousness

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