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The Yankees Tried To Be Cute And Now They’re Going To Lose To The Fucking Devil Rays

Huge red flags went off earlier this week when Aaron Boone was asked who would be the Game 2 starter and he didn’t immediately say Masahiro Tanaka, literally one of the greatest postseason pitchers in the history of the sport and the second best pitcher on the Yankees.

The team instead elected to start 21-year old rookie, Deivi Garcia. Before he had a chance to get one batter out, JA Happ was warming up. Before Garcia gave up a solo homer to Randy Arozarena, Happ was preparing to come into the game.

Why even put Garcia out there if you didn’t trust him with more than one inning? Why not just start JA Happ to begin with? If you want to do this stupid opener bullshit, wouldn’t you start Happ and the bring Garcia in the 3rd or 4th inning? Or rather, why put JA Happ in there at all?

The plan was to ‘trick’ the Rays into putting a left-handed heavy lineup out there against Deivi Garcia and then fake them out by quickly bringing in the left-handed JA Happ. Except none of that cute shit mattered because Happ immediately gave up home runs to Mike Zunino and Manuel Margot—the two righties in the lineup. Of course. Because Happ sucks.

This round of the playoffs has no days off. If the series goes 5 games then the Yankees and Rays will be playing for 5 consecutive days. One might argue, it makes zero fucking sense to use all of your pitchers in Game 2 and completely deplete your bullpen instead of just letting Tanaka go out there and do what he does best.

When you invest all of that money to Gerrit Cole in the offseason, you are declaring that you understand the value of starting pitching and the ability to give a guy the rock and have him pitch until at least the 7th inning. But nope. Sike! This organization thought it would be cuter to bring a 37-year old bum out of the bullpen to trick the Rays when you know for a fact that team was excited that the kid who can throw fastballs in the upper 90s was removed for the geriatric skinhead who underhands beach balls down the middle of the plate.

If/when the Yankees lose this series and continue their World Series drought, it will 1000% be Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone’s fault for attempting witchcraft and wizardry instead of just, ya know, just starting Tanaka and being quiet.

 

 


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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