phil regan

The New York Mets New Pitching Coach Was Born Before World War II

Phil Regan is an 82 year old who was awaken from a nap and told that he is now in charge of the New York Mets pitching staff. The Mets claimed they were going to make ‘outside of the box’ moves and by outside of the box they meant they going to drag an old ass man across the country every day to scream at Jeurys Familia for not speaking ‘American’.

The New York Mets are 4 games blow .500 and sit 8 games back of first place so their season is still very much alive. I’m just not so certain that Phil Regan is.

Phil Regan spent time playing alongside the great Sandy Koufax back in the 60’s when black people had to use a separate bathroom in the stadium. Koufax nicknamed him ‘The Vulture’ which is ironic now that everywhere he goes, vultures are circling him waiting for his elderly man heart to finally give out.

This is like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Frank’s old company had to bring ‘The Warthog’ out of retirement, except ya know, Danny DeVito is still a decade younger than Phil Regan and again, isn’t being asked to travel across the country every week.

1999 was the last time Phil Regan was a pitching coach. That was 20 years ago and he was still old as hell then. Look around the league. Would any other team hire this man? No? Just the Mets? Of course.

Bold move for the Mets to hire a guy who grew up on World War II rations. I’m sure he and Noah Syndergaard have so much in common. Can’t wait for the report that deGrom’s arm hit the clubhouse floor after Regan forced him to throw 200 pitches and to ‘stop being a girl’ when deGrom said his shoulder was sore.

Congrats to the New York Mets for winning the NL East.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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