houston rockets

The Houston Rockets Are No Longer Allowed To Be a Basketball Team

The Houston Rockets were just catapulted out of the playoffs after a 118-113 loss to a Kevin Durant-less Boogie Cousins-less Golden State Warriors. Oh. and the Rockets were at home. And Steph Curry scored zero (0) points in the first half.

The Rockets lost.

James Harden scored 35. Chris Paul scored 27. PJ Tucker had 15.

The Rockets lost.

Steph Curry reserved the gym an hour early to get shots up before the game. Chris Paul heard about it and decided to schedule his own shootaround at the same time thus kicking Steph out of the gym.

The Rockets lost.

Last season, the Rockets missed 27 consecutive 3-pointers in Game 7 of the Western Conference Finals and lost to the Warriors. This season, James Harden somehow improved off his MVP season and carried the Rockets back into the playoffs after last year’s heartbreak.

And then these losers took another L while the Mother of Dragons was sitting courtside.

Get the Rockets out of here, mark ass bitches.

I don’t ever want to see the Houston Rockets play basketball ever again. They were already impossible to watch with James Harden standing at the top of the key dribbling for 20 seconds while the other 4 guys on the team stand completely still watching him.

Then when those scrubs finally get the ball they automatically chuck up a 3. There is a misconception that the Rockets are a great perimeter shooting team but in actuality, they simply take so many 3’s that the percentages balance out but no, PJ Tucker and Iman Shumpert hitting the side of the backboard from the corner isn’t fun basketball to watch.

Kick them out of the league.

Chris Paul is about to have the dumbest contract in NBA history. He’s putting the Rockets salary cap in a sleeper hold meaning they won’t be able to improve or change the roster.

They have to run the same group of losers out there again. I can’t watch 7-foot tall Clint Capela get bodied by Jonas Jerebko for rebounds.

Get the Houston Rockets OUUUUUUT of here. There are now 29 teams in the NBA.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.


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