The Bench #3 (May 3rd, 2013)
Every Friday, the week’s worst sports performances will be given a nice warm spot on the bench.
This Monday, NBA Center Jason Collins revealed he was gay and to a majority of the population, this news meant nothing to us. Most of us shrugged and continued our days. But a rare few lost their minds. The idea of a homosexual just existing on planet Earth is enough to upset these people, let alone on their favorite basketball teams. No one should care what this man does, especially because he’s the 12th man on a last place team. The only one who should care is his ex-fiance Caryln Moos who had no idea he was gay for years. That sucks.
2. Tim Tebow
After spending all of last year on the bench, Tim Tebow has been released. The Tim Tebow nonsense has ended. He is easily the worst quarterback I’ve seen attempt to throw a football, ever. What bothers me the most is not the fact that he somehow managed to maintain a job for a few years that he was just clearly unable to do. It’s his dumb haircut. His barber needs to be released as well.
3. Geno Smith
Geno Smith was one of the top quaterback prospects coming out of the college. He was invited to attend the first round of the NFL Draft and awkwardly sat there and 32 selections went by and his name was never called. That’s enough for Deadseriousness to put you on the bench for this week. The bigger problem is that he was drafted to the New York Jets. If it’s a beauty contest to determine the starting quarterback this year, Geno Smith, who appears to be part reptile, stands no chance against Mark Sanchez.
4. The Los Angeles Lakers
It’s finally over. Steve Nash was too old. Dwight Howard was recovery from major back surgery and couldn’t compete physically with anyone. Pau Gasol shot was too many perimeter jump shots. Metta World Peace is crazy. Kobe raped a woman in Colorado a few years back. This team was doomed from day one. At the end of the day, all of the blame with be on the shoulders of coach Mike D’Antoni but it’s going to be tough for him to carry that blame on shoulders since he is in a constant shrug.
5. Julio Borbon