The 6 Worst People in the Movie Theatres
In preparation to a summer full of ‘blockbusters’.
- Bad Parent.
There are two fundamental problems with bringing your baby to see any movie in a theatre. Babies don’t understand anything including the concept of motion picture. If you expect an infant to sit still and enjoy a film for 3 hours, you’re a bad parent. Second, babies have no knowledge of social norms, which include being silent in movie theatres. Babies cry. It’s all they know. Leave them at home. please.
2. Smelly Dude.
As you go through life, you’re going to come across many foul smelling individuals. There’s about a 98% chance that you will be seated next to one at the movies. There’s not much to say here except, sucks for you.
3. Dumb Woman.
Some films have complicated plots and stories and i understand that. But some people just sincerely don’t understand anything. You will always here a slow woman in the background asking her boyfriend questions. Questions like, “Wait, is Mufasa really dead?” and “How are these lions talking?” The dumb woman also finds it necessary to share her opinions on outfits and talk about her day and her feelings and pretty much ruin the movie experience for everyone around her.
4. The Comedian.
During the opening previews, everyone has their own opinions on the trailers they just watched. Most people aren’t shy about turning the person next to them and sharing some comment on the trailer. The comedian feels the need to share his clever comment to the entire room. They are the most clever people on Earth and they want everyone to know it.
5. Disgusting Couple.
This couple spends 20 dollars for a nice warm seat to make out in. It doesn’t matter if their watching Shrek or Saw, they will be in each others mouths for 2 hours. Not only can you not put your feet up because they’re sitting in front of you, but you can’t even enjoy the film because all you can see is the couple in front of you really enjoying it.
6. Popcorn Devourer.
It costs 6 dollars for small popcorn at the movies. The popcorn devourer is going to get the most out of their money. Whenever it gets silent during a scene change or things get dramatic, all you can hear is the popcorn devourer crunching and slurping their sprite. The worst part is, they know how loud they are and they truly do not care.