The 6 Drivers That Should Stay Off of The Road

The 6 Drivers That Should Stay Off the Road

1. The Blond Bomber.

If she’s not applying make up, she’s texting everyone she’s ever met. She usually has a cigarette in one hand and Chobani yogurt in the other. She watches the cars next to her more than the road in front of her. She is the Blond Bomber, beware.

2. The Daredevil.

You know that tiny parking spot that you consider parking in for a second but then realize it’s too risky, the daredevil does not think twice about swerving into it. If traffic slows down, the daredevil has no problem with driving 90 mph in the shoulder to pass everyone. Red lights can’t even stop this asshole.

3. The Woofer.

It’s 1am and your house starts shaking. The woofer is just driving through, no worries. The woofer never has to leave the club; he takes it with him everywhere he goes. I hope you like dubsteb because you’ll be hearing it within a 5 mile radius of the woofer.

4. The Tortoise.

The Tortoise beats the Hare is a lesson we are all taught as children. Some people take this as a guideline for their life. They never have any sense of urgency. There is no need to rush because remember, the tortoise always wins. They’re also usually the most boring human beings.

5. The Virgin.

The virgin is just getting behind the wheel for the first time and they have no idea what they are doing. The hit the breaks going through green lights and they refuse to stay straight in their lane. I understand that they need experience on the road but driving below the speed limit is also illegal.

6. The Ninja.
You think there are no cars around and then suddenly when you’re changing lanes, there is a car honking at you. The ninja enjoys waiting in your blind spots. You speed up to make room and the ninja speeds up with you. You slow down and they slow down to. The ninja will hurt you.

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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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