Texas Football is a Ponzi Scheme

Texas Football is very much not back after firing their head coach, Tom Herman, this weekend. They finished the 2020 season with a 7-3 record and won the Who Gives A Shit Bowl 55-23 over Colorado. Not good enough for arguably the most prestigious program in college sports.

What’s noteworthy about Herman’s dismissal is that he had $25 milly left on his contract so he just gets all that shit in a lump sum. Just like that, Texas throws $25 million out the window after a decent 7-3 season in a year where everyone and their mothers caught Coronavirus.

And that Covid element is important because the Texas athletic department cut 6% from their sports programs despite making fucking $224 million last season which was more than any other school. So, whatever you think of Tom Herman, he made the school a RECORD amount of money and the school still managed to both cut sports programs while simultaneously paying Hermann and his staff a cool $25 million to never come back again.

On top of that, they just hired extremely drunk perennial loser, Steve Sarkisian. So that means they plan on giving that blacked out weirdo another $25 milly as they cry poor and cut everyone else’s salaries.

We need to start looking at the books over there. What are boosters giving the athletic director? How is this money being distributed? I’ve seen enough episodes of ‘Mediocre White Guy Turns To Crime’ shows to know that you need to wash all of your illegal drug cash and millions upon millions must be getting laundered through the hiring and firing of the most mundane college football coaches available.

I would say that the NCAA should look into this but they are the same organization that allowed Larry Nassar to rape an entire generation of US Olympic gymnasts and Baylor football to uh, also rape everyone. Actually fuck the NCAA.

Let’s just keep an eye on how Texas football is spending their money this year.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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