Tennis Player Sara Errani Blames Failed Drug Test on Mom’s Spaghetti

In an unexpected addition to the list of doping excuses, former world No 5 Sara Errani has been banned for only two months after convincing an International Tennis Federation tribunal that she ingested a banned substance via her mother’s tortellini.

A chemical called letrozole was found in a urine sample that Errani donated in February, during an out-of-competition sample at her parents’ house in Italy. The substance is used in the treatment of breast cancer, but it has also been associated with the promotion of muscle tissue in female bodybuilders.

Errani argued that the letrozole in question was part of her mother’s treatment regime. Mrs Errani – who has suffered multiple incidences of cancer in the past – kept the chemical in a blister pack of pills, which she would leave to the side of her kitchen worktop.



First of all, it’s sad about Sara Errani’s mother having cancer and blah blah buuut maybe homegirl shouldn’t be mixing her cancer medicine with her family’s meals. I don’t think letrozole is in the blue apron recipe.

Either mom sprinkled in some cancer medicine orrrr Sara Errani is just stuffed with steroids. I’m going to assume the latter. If we’re all mad at Maria Sharapova for accidentally taking supplements that had banned substances in it then we should all be throwing tomatoes at Errani for juicing.

Tennis is hard. Serena Williams is in everyone’s head and she’s not even competing. She was so in her own sister’s head that Venus straight up murdered someone in a fender bender. Women’s tennis is in shambles.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Sara Errani is filled with steroids. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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