mark teixeira

Stop Asking Mark Teixeira Things

The MLB Player’s Association is at war with MLB owners over player contracts and how money will be distributed if both sides agree on an 82 game season. Players do not want to put their life on the line and screwed out of guaranteed money and the owners don’t want to pay full salaries for half a season’s worth of work and games in which they are losing money because there are no fans in the stands to pay $50 for chicken fingers and a small Sierra Mist.

Mark Teixeira has weighed in on this discussion for absolutely no reason and delivered the worst take he could. Here is what this large-headed weirdo had to say:

“Players need to understand that if they turn this deal down and shut the sport down, they’re not making a cent. I would rather make pennies on the dollar and give hope to people and play baseball than not make anything and lose an entire year off their career.”

Mark Teixeira, a man who made over $200,000,000 in his career is out here telling players that he’d play for pennies. Ok. So this pandemic just has motherfuckers saying anything?

Teixeira spent his 2008 free agency using Boston and Anaheim to drive up his price so he can rob the Yankees of an 8-year/$180 million deal. Maybe he shouldn’t be the voice of ‘players should play for free’.

And what does Teixeira mean when he says ‘give hope to people’? Has anyone negatively affected by Coronavirus outwardly said that the only thing that would make them feel better right now is watching their Baltimore Orioles get mollywhopped by the Yankees?

People are fucking DYING, Mark.

We have to stop acting like this disease is some temporary minor inconvenience. Although baseball has the least amount of physical contact of any of the major sports and the Korean baseball league seems to be handling this quite well thus far, these players are still risking their health and the health of the people around them. They shouldn’t also openly volunteer to give up paychecks in the process.

It’s important to also mention that back in March, the owners had already come to an agreement that the players would receive their full service time pay and are now attempting to strike a new deal in their favor.

This isn’t some political issue that we need to take sides on and argue. This isn’t a matter of giving us ‘hope’ because I promise you that the people running to their mailboxes every day impatiently waiting for an unemployment check to arrive won’t suddenly feel inspired by a Detroit Tigers game.

Mark Teixeira is the same guy who jumps off the top rope whenever a Hispanic player tests positive for HGH. Why are we still asking what he thinks about anything?

Teixeira made NINE FIGURES.

He’s not allowed to tell anyone to work for pennies. We really have to stop bending the knee for our wealthy overlords. We do not need to feed our lifeless corpses into the great capitalism machinery.

You want baseball? Pay the players. MLB players probably won’t die from coronavirus. But guys, we STILL don’t have enough testing across the country. There is no treatment for it. You want to give us ‘hope’, Mark? Personally cut some checks to those of us who don’t have jobs right now. Find a vaccine.

But most importantly, stop showing up on ESPN and tap dancing for billionaires.





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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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