steven wright

Steven Wright, Known Wife Beater, Gets Suspended 80 Games For Doing Steroids

Oh no.

Boston Red Sox starting pitcher, Steven Wright, will miss 80 games this season because he got caught doing steroids. It’s a real shame that this stand up guy is being pinned with this crime. I’m sure he is currently jotting up a script about how he didn’t know he took the wrong substance and blah blah.

This would be the second season in a row in which Steven Wright would miss opening day due to suspension. Last season, Wright was suspended for 15 games because he beat up his wife. What a great guy. Truly deserving of a Red Sox jersey.

Oh, and this 80 game suspension for violating the drug policy makes Wright ineligible for the postseason. Dang. Another bites the dust for Boston. Shoot.

I just want to point out how hilarious it is for a pitcher for primary throws a knuckleball to be caught using steroids. If you don’t have the arm stregnth to underhand a 49mph bean bag than perhaps it’s time to file those retirement papers.

At the same time, maybe keep trying to get away with doing steroids because the world does not need you to have more free time at your house just terrorizing your wife every day.

Get Steven Wright out of here before someone gets hurt. Don’t want that powerful steroid fueled knuckleball to plunk someone and end their season.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Steven Wright might not be the best guy ever. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Follow on Instagram so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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