Someone Help This Old Man Get Home

For whatever reason, people truly believed that 43-year old Tom Brady would walk into a brand new organization with a brand new coaching staff, trainers and teammates and would magically be an MVP candidate as if this entire offseason wasn’t derailed by a plague.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost to the New Orleans Saints 34-23 in a game where Tom Brady looked like a backup quarterback who did his best while the far more talented starter rehabs a shoulder injury.

Brady threw for 239 with 2 touchdowns as well as 2 interceptions. One of those interceptions was a pick six by Janoris Jenkins.

Here is what Bucs head coach, Bruce Arians, had to say about his mediocre QB:


Bruce Arians is genuinely disgusted by the bum that he had to call plays for. Imagine coaching Jameis Winston and watching him consistently throw the football directly into the chest of cornerbacks only to finally get the opportunity to coach the greatest quarterback of all time anddddd he’s just Jameis Winston again but like, with a Nike sponsorship and take the taste of his son’s tongue on his breath.

At this point, it’s tough not to feel bad for this elderly man getting abused by Bruce Arians. Elderly abuse is a real problem when these old guys are sent to retirement homes in Tampa. Someone please make sure Tom Brady is getting to bed safely.

This is like the Democratic party throwing Joe Biden out there as their candidate when he has like, the most dementia that any man has ever had in the history of history. Biden has no idea where he is right now and he’s supposed to be president. Tom Brady just wants to spend his Sunday napping while watching golf and all of a sudden Bruce Arians is throwing him out there to get murdered by the Saints.

Get Tom Brady home safely.





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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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