in ,

Somehow Carl Crawford is a Worse Tampa Bay Devil Ray Than Aubrey Huff

Aubrey Huff has spent the last few years going out of his way to ‘trigger the libs’ by saying wild racist, homophobic and sexist comments on Twitter. Always fun to make the snowflakes cry about your super hilarious ‘joke’ where you say you want to kidnap and rape Iranian women. Comedy.

Huff’s nonsense pretty much went unchecked until the San Francisco Giants told him he wasn’t invited to the 10 year anniversary of their 2010 World Series Championship in which Huff was the best hitter on the team.

Totally worth it though because having strangers angry at you on the internet is far better than being honored for the only important contribution you’ve ever had in your life.

Just when you thought Aubrey Huff was the most terrible man on the early 2000’s Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Carl Crawford has propelled from the clouds to steal the crown as the biggest dirtbag of them all.

Carl Crawford’s agency, 1501 Certified Entertainment, is being sued by Megan Thee Stallion for essentially stealing all of his earnings in what sounds like one of the worst contracts anyone has ever signed.

“In the suit, Megan lays out the most outrageous terms of her contract, at least in her eyes. For instance, she claims the deal calls for 1501 Certified to get 60 percent of her recording income. The remaining 40 percent goes to her, but she has to use that to pay engineers, mixers and featured artists who work on the songs.”

Ah the classic “give us all of your earnings and any of the extra money that you think you get to keep will actually be spent getting us more money”.

There is no reality in which I will be defending Carl Crawford taking advantage of a young artist with a contract that does nothing but ensures that artist’s failure. Congratulations to Meg Thee Stallion for overcoming this bullshit and becoming one of the biggest rappers in the world in spite of the limited resources she was given.

Crawford made over $170 million in his baseball career. This man did not need to run Meg’s pockets but knew he could so he did. As I’ve said a bajillion times, no wealthy person has amassed their fortune while maintaining their morals and ethics. Literally no one. There are zero good rich people.

I used to always make fun of the fact that every time I opened up Twitter there was a new video of Meg twerking for no reason but now I see why. It’s the only way she could promote her music after Carl Crawford gave her $8 for promo.

Please stop the 2003 Devil Rays. Whatever you’re doing, BJ Upton, just fucking stop. Can’t wait to find out that Johnny Gomes runs a sketchy orphanage that he uses as a tax shelter while the kids are only fed those chalky Valentine’s hearts.








Sign Up For The Deadseriousness Newsletter

Don't worry, we don't spam


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

Leave a Reply


Fuck Goldberg

spike lee james dolan

Spike Lee vs. James Dolan Is The Perfect Example of Sports Media’s Bullshit