allison closs

Shout Out To This Girl Who Took a Cardboard Cut Out of Danny DeVito To Prom

High School is fucking hard. You have to know both math AND chemistry at the same exact time and you will be tested on both and often times like, 50 minutes apart from one another. And while you’re in the middle of this strange educational boot camp, all of a sudden your pituitary gland lights up and you want/need to hump anything that blinks at you.

Then at the end of the year, you have to ask a classmate to prom and if they say no, you feel like the biggest loser on planet Earth and if they say yes, then you suddenly have the pressure of a Mac truck on you to impress a boy/girl that you won’t even see or talk to again once everyone goes to college.

Allison Closs gamed the system by bringing in the hottest date she possibly could. Danny DeVito. LUCKY.

My Prom King and Queen.

This really makes me think who I would take with me to prom if I knew I wouldn’t get mocked for being a weirdo and a try-hard loser for the rest of my life for bringing a piece of paper with me instead of a girl. Not that Allison Closs is a weirdo and a try-hard loser but like, you know.

Anyway, I’d obviously bring Peg Bundy with me. Even today, I might look for a Peg Bundy cardboard cut out right now.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Allison Closs and Danny DeVito sealed the deal at the end of the night. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

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